Feel like I have no control over my life - people pleaser problems

Recently I've (30M) been having feelings that I have no control over my life. What I do, how I do it, where I go, is constantly dictated by other people around me.

1. My group of friends are very consumed with their own relationships. Arranging social plans with them mainly consists of them choosing when we meet, where we meet, who else is present and what we do. I have had these "friends" for over 15 years, and I feel like I am internally conditioned to accept everything they want to do.
2. Because my group of friends are all couples, I have felt immense pressure to find a girlfriend. Being single amongst my friends was an incredibly lonely and painful experience which caused a lot of trauma to me. There was not once that my male friends offered to be my wingman, and would actually turn down any plans I make in trying to attend "single" events.
3. Nonetheless I persisted and found a girlfriend, but the way the relationship is turning out is very similar to my friends - 90% of the time it is her deciding when we meet, with who we meet and what we do.
4. On the other hand, I have very difficult and aging parents who constantly discourage me from moving forward with my life - they have discouraged me from moving country, discouraged me from changing job, discouraged me from living alone.
5. My brother who is 10 years my senior is constantly giving me "investment" advice and calling me a failure if I don't follow it.
6. At work, I am a top performer who gets things done. My boss has grown accustomed to this and surrounded me with people who are his friends and whose work I do for them. I feel constantly exploited at work.

In all the situations above, I withstand the situation and people please until I eventually blow up, become passive aggressive and create a standoff. I frequently say "yes" to things and change my mind at the last minute because of this very sinking feeling that I am deeply disrespected by everyone around me.

I have sleeping problems, because I spend a lot of time at night thinking about what I could have said better, and how other people don't love or respect me.

My problem is, I don't have my priorities which I want over other people's plans for me. I have done this for so long that I have lost my sense of self, and instead I am always going with the flow.

I have this constant "wish" to quit and delete everyone from my life, move away and live on my own terms.

On the surface, it looks like I am successful - have a good job, girlfriend, a circle of friends, semi-functional family. Nothing to complain about exactly, but deep down I feel like so much of what I do and how I act is just balancing other people's demands. It is draining and genuinely makes me sad and depressed.

How can I fix this and start to live my own life? Does anyone have any advice for people pleasers? Any books or content I can read?

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I have my first therapy session next week, but I am open to any advice.