How do i stop fantasizing about hurting men? TW

read my profile and see the stupid stuff ive done and how stupid i was in college and why i like to hurt guys intimitly. ive gone to therapy and grown up but still come back to this old behavior and it is getting in the way of me in a relationship with a guy. "think about somethign else" doesnt work when i get mad or jealos or feel insecure or any of the stuff that makes me kick etc

how do i stop these thoughts?