how do i stop having bad thoughts?

im tired of my past messing up my future
read my profile and see how growing up with lots of sa as a child led me to do stupid stuff and how stupid i was in college and why i like to hurt guys in their most intimate place. ive gone to therapy and grown up but still come back to this old behavior and it is getting in the way of me in a relationship with a guy.
"think about something else" doesnt work when i get mad or jealous or feel insecure or any of the stuff that makes me kick etc
how do i stop these thoughts?
how do i "own" my past or at least learn how to be a normal person and feel normal feelings?