Seeds of Heroism - Chapter 37
Chapter 37 – content: >!(partial) castration, violence!<
[A guide to the world of Bythos!](https://imgur.com/a/poZLPkK)
“It feels strange to set up camp for another night when we’re just a week away from Hôdoburg, like we’re taking it easy,” Andria said as she watched the paladins ram another set of stakes into the soft earth.
“Not at all, your Grace. If you were still travelling as part of an adventurer party, going for longer at the risk of arriving in the middle of the night would be no issue, but we mustn’t do so as a diplomatic delegation. It would give the wrong impression,” the woman said and wiped the sweat off her brow, leaving a dark stain.
Andria’s eyes glazed over when she heard the formal address. These days, it’s all ‘your Grace’ or ‘most reverend moirai’. Ever since Leonia had left.
Despite her sigh, she had to admit, it felt nice to be able to travel with a bunch of Valesian paladins to guard and wait on her hand and foot. It made for much easier travelling than when she had been a regular adventuress back in Calvino. Although even that had been kind of a breeze once Leonia had joined their party.
But the paladins were all so dang stuck-up! Not like the former knight-captain. She wasn’t one to crack jokes, sure, but that was clearly because the woman had such a one-track mind. Once you got used to her, she was good fun to be around.
To think, the knight-captain, joining her and the others on their adventures! She never would have dreamed of such a thing just days prior. Even the twins had readily accepted the veteran fighter. That had surprised Andria, but it made sense given Leonia’s reputation for beating any man in a fight, and often leaving them a testicle or two lighter. The twins had started out calling her by her old nickname, ‘Spearbreaker’, but the phlegmatic knight had quickly got them to stop that. Although the twins took that as an excuse to call her anything but her name. ‘Tall bitch’ and ‘cockbreath’ were among their more charming picks.
Andria giggled at the memory. While the paladins were still setting up her tent, she could at least make herself useful. She strolled through their camp, stopping every once in a while to offer healing to anyone that might need it. No one was seriously hurt, just a few blisters from ill-fitting boots and a splinter. After a quick burst of light magic, Andria settled on making a snack for herself while camp was being set up.
While peeling an apple, her mind drifted back to how she had become the maiden of light. Drinking the ambrosia had been strange. Back in the crystal cave, that dungeon, she had marvelled at the strange liquid. It looked like a puddle of liquid sunlight, both a fluid she could touch and drink, and something entirely incorporeal at the same time. It glowed like a lit torch, but brighter, with the colour of a noon sun. And despite that, it had been merely warm, so pleasant to feel on her skin.
She remembered that clearly, partly because it had been such a wondrous sight… and partly because of the metal claw that had slashed at her, ripping out a chunk of her side. She had seen blood plenty of times, both animal and human blood. But to see such a torrent of red flow out of her own body, it had still shocked her.
Andria had assumed she was as good as dead at that point. What could she hope to do against a sorceress, even one that had a bolt sticking out of her side? And so, she decided to do the only thing that came to mind, the one thing that would stop the ambrosia from falling into the hands of these crooks. She drank it.
And while it tasted unlike anything she ever drank before, she’d had to pay for her decision dearly. Again, and again, the sorceress had slashed at her, and each time Andria couldn’t think of anything else but healing her wounds. She shuddered as she remembered the pain.
The sorceress eventually slowed down, weakened by her wound, and Andria had been faced with the unpleasant feeling of wanting to take revenge on her. Of making her feel the same pain she had inflicted on her. Thankfully, Leonia had arrived seconds later and decapitated the sorceress, sparing her from giving in to these depraved urges.
“Hey boy,” a paladin called out to one of the men that had been hired as additional heavers by the order, “what’s really small but gets bigger when you kick it, and is round and flat at the same time?” She didn’t even wait for his answer. “Your nuts!” she yelled and slammed the flat side of a heavy war hammer up into his groin.
The weapon hit the front of his groin perfectly, striking the place Andria knew to be a man’s greatest weakness with pinpoint precision. Mercilessly, it travelled upwards, lifting and flattening its target until it encountered something less mobile than a testicle, his pelvis.
Andria didn’t need to hear the gonad’s last cry before it departed this world, a short, unimpressive *squick*, to know that it had just been reduced from fruit to pulp. She had seen the Valesian paladins, especially the younger girls, pull variations of this prank far too many times these last days.
“Got you, hahaha!” the paladin yelled and slapped her knee. Andria sighed. It wasn’t even her fault that all across camp, day in, day out, balls were getting pulped. The church had made her prove herself, first by demonstrating that she was indeed capable of healing with magic, then by healing what was normally impossible: a destroyed body part.
She hadn’t thought anything of it when she was asked to restore a sexton’s manhood. He wasn’t a noble that had lost a power struggle or consigned to the care of the church because he had one too many siblings all vying for an inheritance. No, he had been an adventurer, a simple man, young and bright-eyed, who had been hired for an exploratory trip to the impenetrable jungles south of Bosalmak. A careless nap up in a tree had changed his life’s trajectory forever when a lamia, one of the mysterious women that possessed the lower body of a snake, had sneaked up on him and plucked his fruits as if they were a pair of ripe apples.
Andria was sure by now that they had selected the boy specifically to tear at her heartstrings. She had agreed to heal him, of course she had. They strapped him to a cross so that his legs were spread and easily accessible, and she had let the magic flow. She didn’t need any spell, nor did she suddenly learn how to channel mana. Rather, it had felt like she had always possessed these abilities, and drinking the ambrosia had simply informed her of that fact.
Healing the boy’s balls was very rewarding. He had looked so happy! Andria had even let the mana flow a bit longer, making his package just a bit larger than it originally had been – which was a strange thought as well, she had never seen him before, but when she healed him, she knew exactly when the growing spuds had reached their original size. So, she just kept going a little bit longer, making the sack swing just a bit lower and made his nuts just a bit heftier.
Of course, that had only made it all the more painful for her when, after confirming that he had indeed been given his manhood back, the Sophian council had promptly popped his new testicles again, splattering them across the chapel house’s stone floor. He was happier serving the church as a sexton, they had declared, and that he had found new faith in the Goddess thanks to his lack of sinful balls.
Someone must have blabbed that she was indeed capable of healing broken balls, because ever since then, women around her had been holding nothing back when playing such pranks. How many times had she stitched together a ruptured testicle now? How many times disentangled twisted nut cords? How many new pairs had she grown with her new powers, replacing entire sacks that were ripped away?
She had to put a stop to this. “I’m just going to tell you now, I won’t be healing that!” she said snarkily and started flipping the apple slices she was candying in a pan over the fire.
“Huh?” the paladin girl said. “But I just popped it! It’s gone!”
“Yes, and if I just heal it, you will just pop another ball without giving any thought to the consequences. And that’s why I won’t heal any more popped testicles.”
The man, the heaver, was on the floor crying and moaning, but still he managed to squeak out, “Please, my nut! You need to get me back my nut!”
Andria only shook her head. “I’m doing this for your benefit. These girls need to learn to stop breaking your nuts and those of all the other boys just for fun. This ball healer has retired once and for all. Done. Finito.”
She shovelled the caramelized fruit onto a plate, melted sugar still sizzling, and walked back to her tent, leaving the young paladin to deal with the fallout of her prank-castration herself.
She headed inside her tent, put her plate on the little cot, and rummaged through her pack to fish out the notes for the parlay with the queen. With one hand, she speared slices of apple on her fork and tried to lift them to her mouth without soiling her notes or her clothes, while the other hand combed through stacks of parchment to try and find her conclusions.
*Cillia’s casus bellis are two-fold. For one, they seek to restore the honour of an adventurer called Jim. A ridiculous notion, even with the queen’s spiel about how his situation mirrors that of Cillia, but since it is her stated reason for the war, I will need to address it,* she summarized to herself and stabbed her cheek with hot fruit.
Rubbing the burnt spot, her thoughts turned to the real meat of Cillia’s war. *The other, actual reason is that they seek justice for the destruction of Gimeit a hundred years ago. Norea’s milk jugs, you would think after a hundred years they would have accepted their defeat in a war they had started.*
*Their first concern can be dealt with easily enough. Queen Isidora has already retracted her condemnation of the guy. Some sort of compensation could be arranged easily enough.* Jim… the name seemed familiar to Andria, besides just the news that went around when people thought he had defiled princess Despina. But she couldn’t place where she had heard of it before. Maybe somewhere back in the adventurer’s guild?
*Their second concern, Bruna’s real objective, is the issue. Gimeit was irrecoverably destroyed, my predecessor, the maiden of water Saint Meera, has seen to that. Goddess, it feels so strange to think that. My predecessor… but it’s true, I’m the maiden of light now.*
Andria shook her head. *Focus – Cillia is essentially waging a war of conquest, so getting Bruna to relinquish control over any amount of land is a success. You are way out of your league here anyway, for now, just try to come up with a way to convince Cillia to retreat before they raze Calvino to the ground.*
A drop of sugary oil fell from her meal and onto the parchment. Andria cursed up a storm and quickly brushed it off with her clothes, leaving behind a greasy smear. Grumbling, she quickly finished the rest of her meal and then returned to her notes.
She suspected it wasn’t justice queen Bruna sought, but vengeance. If so, what could sooth her lust for revenge? Her armies had already taken Roridafiga, as well as several smaller towns and villages on the road to Calvino. Plenty of people had died in the battles, but her army didn’t go out of its way to attack the common folk, so it can’t be simple bloodlust driving her.
Granted, refugees from the north reported that the Cillian soldiers were prioritising the castration of any male they could find, but it didn’t seem like they were actually ordered to depopulate the area. Rather, the all-female units just went hog wild whenever they saw a man, kicking, stomping and squeezing his balls in an almost animalistic fashion. Only when they had ground his nuts to mush or had torn off the entire nutsack did they seem satisfied and moved on. They didn’t even always take their new geldings as slave labour, letting some of them go after their brutal castration! They completely ignored what was standard practice in the republic, and it didn’t make sense.
*That was another point that would hinder negotiations, Calvino would never accept any of its population being enslaved. According to some accounts, slavery is the issue that originally caused a schism between the nations hundreds and hundreds of years ago.*
But would Calvino accept any loss of territory? Currently, the border mostly followed the natural barriers between the two countries. Giving up any territory would give Cillia a foothold beyond them, inviting further invasions down the line.
Why was the Cillian army so effective all of a sudden, anyway? Ever since the fall of Gimeit, the republic had been without any noteworthy generals and officers, and they had always struggled to get their hands on enough high-quality iron. The deposits on the Calvinian side of the Broken Sword range were much richer, not to mention that the Dwarven realm centred around the Kilpi Vuoret was wedged into the south-western part of Calvino, forming a rough triangle between Calvino, Kumarbi and the orc steppes. It made for much easier trading with the reclusive race.
Andria sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She could feel a headache oncoming.
When she got up to get some water, she was shocked that it had already turned to night.
The night’s chill was welcome on her skin, soothing the thumping pain behind her eyes just a tad. She decided to walk through the night barefoot. Cold dew tingled on her toes, but it felt oh so refreshing. Barefoot, Andria filled her waterskin, took a deep drink from it and topped it up again. Walking back, she could hear a commotion in the direction of her tent.
*Oh boy, what did they do this time? Pour hot oil on a boy’s sack? Bind one to a tree and use his nuts as a rope swing? Force a man to pull logs for the campfire by tying them to his balls?*
A group of paladins formed a circle, talking animatedly amongst themselves. Andria cleared her throat to get their attention.
“What’s going on here? What happened?”
“Your grace! I am glad to see you unharmed. We have arrested several suspicious people sneaking around camp. We fear they were trying to ambush you.”
“You fear? Didn’t you ask them what they wanted?”
“We did, oh most reverend moirai. They claim that they wanted to talk to you about Cillia’s queen.”
Her brows shot up, reaching for her hairline. “Where are they? I wish to hear what they have to say.”
“We have them here, bound, your grace. We subdued the men, and then their companions surrendered.”
Andria winced, fairly sure she knew how a group of paladins would ‘subdue’ men. She really hoped she wouldn’t have to go back on her new resolve so soon and put these boys’ balls back together.
Andria led them into her tent. It became clear why she hadn’t spotted the prisoners before: all of them were intricately hogtied, lines of rope criss-crossing their bodies, binding their hands to their feet. The paladins held them like some sort of package by a loop of rope that pulled on their chests as well as their crotches – in the case of the two males, they were being lifted by their nuts. *No, wait,* Andria corrected herself, *that one is only getting lifted by one nut, the rest is still hidden in his pants. Gosh, that thing is big…*
For the female prisoners, the cord traversed through their crotches, digging into the soft middle of their loins and then formed a parallel line around their hips, like a belt. For all three of them, Andria could make out the small bumps where the pressure pushed against the petals of their flowers, putting the plump lips on prominent display. *That looks like it feels kind of nice*, she thought.
Then her eyes fell on their gagged faces and she frowned. “… Jim?”
“You know these interlopers, your grace?”
“Just that one, I think… can you untie him?”
The paladin nodded and pulled on one rope that, somehow, loosened the one in Jim’s mouth.
Instead of a greeting, a long groan came from him. The paladin carrying him clicked her tongue and, with her free hand, gave his stretched nut a sharp slap. “Talk, boy.”
A shrill whine later, he managed to do just that. “You’re… the vet from the guild? Sorry, we wanted to talk to the maiden of light.”
Andria smiled. “You found her. Are they your friends?” She nodded towards Liriel and the others.
“Yeah… Andria, right? I thought you wanted to be an adventuress, why are you- Oof!” Another slap to his ball made him swing back and forth, the groaning rope matching the sounds Jim made.
“You will speak respectfully or not at all, boy!”
“It’s alright, we know each other. For now, just untie them all. You can leave us alone after that.” Andria dismissed the protests of the paladins, but acquiesced that one of the women stay in the tent as a guard. Some moments later, Jim’s party was free again and alone with Andria in the tent, although the boys subtly tried to rub their nuts. Liriel and Inacea both wore a subtle blush on their cheeks, breathing a bit too quickly, while Zenobia had a blissful smile on her face.
“Please, sit. I’ll tell you what happened.” Andria started recounting the past few months, her gentle voice filling the tent. She spoke of how she joined an all-female party, how the party gradually grew, and they settled into a rhythm with each successful quest. How they dared take a lucrative quest of a noble seeking the mythical substance known as ambrosia, and how they found it in a wondrous cave of crystal and light.
Just then, a frighteningly large and violent force reached and attacked them, and Andria, in her desperation, couldn’t think of a better way to deny the legendary elixir to their attackers than imbibing it. She only mentioned the wondrous abilities the ambrosia granted her in passing, focusing on the church immediately enlisting her to act as neutral arbiter between Calvino and Cillia.
Stunned silence descended upon the group. It was Inacea who eventually broke it, saying, “That seems like an awful lot to burden a simple adventuress with… uhm, no offence.”
Andria shook her head. “None taken, you are right. I have no idea how I’m supposed to convince the queen to pull back her forces. I think the church expects her to just listen to me because of this moirai thing…”
Jim pinched his pants again, uncomfortably shifting on his seat. He was horny all day and night ever since he had been locked up by the queen, and now that the pain in his nuts abated, the need to cum surged back to the forefront of his mind. “I’m afraid the queen won’t listen to you. Actually, I would be surprised if she doesn’t try to capture you, or something of that ilk.”
When Andria signed for him to explain, he screwed his eyes shut and took a deep breath before continuing. “Queen Bruna is consorting with demons.”
The former vet gasped and clasped a hand in front of her mouth. A blush formed on her face. “She’s having carnal relations with demons?”
Liriel tilted her head. “What?”
“No, I mean, she’s working together with demons, maybe even made a pact with them!” Jim hurried to explain. Liriel shifted beside him.
“Oh. Ohh! Oh no.” Andria scratched her head. “Can you tell me more?”
“I think that is my cue.” Absorbed in thought, Zenobia played with a lock of her hair. “The reason for Cillia’s success, as well as their brutal treatment of men, lies in their usage of a demonic substance, a synthetic approximation of the ambrosia you mentioned. I won’t bore you with the details, but it is created with *peccatum lac*, or black milk as it is commonly known. I had been wondering where they were sourcing it from, but as we found out, one of the nobles on the queen’s council is a demon herself. Baroness Helene of Watari is a creature of hell.”
Andria gulped, thinking of the trap she might have walked into in the capital. There was no way a demon walked the earth and would let the maiden of light do as she pleased, especially if this beast was involved in this war itself. Andria shook her head. *No, this whole war might have been the demon’s plan from the start.*
“Are you absolutely sure about this? Accusing a noble of being a fiend is no small charge. I need to be certain that she is what you claim.”
Jim nodded. “Hell is trying to capture me for… some reason.” He didn’t dare mention his suspicions regarding Lilith taking revenge on him, or that his balls might be particularly valuable to the underworld because of Norea’s influence. “I narrowly avoided being accosted by the baroness.”
Andria stared long and hard at Jim. “Jim, I don’t mean to be dismissive, I do believe you, but… others might not see it that way. To them, your words do not carry the same weight.”
“Oh.” His eyes wandered the tent as he thought. “Even as the queen’s harbinger?”
Andria gaped at him. “You’re queen Bruna’s harbinger?”
“Yes? I thought you knew, given that you were sent to negotiate with her.”
A clear, purling laughter started filling the tent. Andria laughed brightly, and it seemed like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. “I never knew! Harbinger is a position used by Cillian royalty to consolidate their power on the inside, they would never tell their enemies who fills that position.”
Jim smiled at the sudden release Andria felt, and gladly let himself be pulled to his feet when she reached out her hands.
“That makes everything so much easier! Thank you, Jim. I mean it.”
He grinned. “Don’t mention it, I’m happy to help!”
“Oh, this is a good opportunity…” She gently touched her legs, a gentle glow emanating from her fingers. “I’ve been speculating that I might be able to grow muscles with my new powers, make people stronger, you know?” Jim nodded, even through the coarse fabric of her pants he could see her thighs start to swell and grow. Powerful muscles twitched all along her legs that looked like those of a professional cyclist. Or a kickboxer.
“Alright, then let’s end this war, alright?” She put her fingers together and gifted him a sweet smile.
“Yeah, let’s.” Inspired by her elation, he gave her a thumbs-up.
Then she drew her leg back and time seemed to slow. He recognized her stance, of course, but his brain didn’t catch up to what was about to happen. In a crescent arc, Andria’s bare foot whistled through the air, soughing to the exact centre of his body.
“Eh?” was all the noise he managed to make, looking only mildly surprised, while Liriel, Aramis and Inacea cried out in shock.
The dainty foot rang both of his bells with pinpoint accuracy, her toes striking the bottom of his testicles. His nuts were violently thrown back, smacking against his ass and then drooped down, momentum making them swing forward.
Andria had counted on this. She hadn’t let her foot follow the kick through to its painful end, but had drawn the limb back down and stomped it on the ground. It provided an anchor for her other leg.
In a snap-kick, her left leg shoot forward with enough momentum to make the maiden herself lift off the ground. Leg swinging up, sack swinging down, their collision was inevitable. This second, more acrobatic kick, wasn’t as centre as the first. The top of Andria’s foot struck the right nut almost in the middle, while her toes only grazed the left ball, pinching the sensitive bottom between her toes.
He fell to the ground silently, twitching. Already regaining her balance, Andria lifted her right leg again, aiming to stomp Jim’s nuts until they bit the dust.
“Noo!” Liriel shouted and reached out, but she was too late. As she cried out, Andria’s foot zoomed down and buried itself into the floor.
Tears welled up in Liriel’s eyes. “No! No… Jim… Jim’s plums… You broke them…”
Andria tilted her head in confusion and lifted her leg. She inspected the sole of her foot, expecting to see the remains of Jim’s manhood dripping from it, but she saw just her plain, slightly dusty foot.
“They’re gone!” Liriel blubbered.
Aramis cleared his throat. “Uhm, about that…”
Ina couldn’t hide her disgust any longer. “Oh Goddess, why are they squirming so much? I think I can feel them churning in my hands!” True enough, two potato-sized, crooked testicles quivered between her fingers, one in each hand.
“Jim’s plums!” Liriel gasped and reached for the nuts that Ina was only too happy to part with. “You saved them! Thank you so much! My, they feel even heavier than usual…”
“What’s going on? Why do you have those?”
With the two testicles safely in her grasp, Liriel turned to Andria, ignored her question and puffed out her cheeks. “What are you doing! You almost popped them!” In anger, her hands dug into the freshly busted nuts, straining the gonads further.
“Yes, that was the point,” Andria countered. “We just said that that’s what we’d do!” When the party only gave her silent stares, excepting Jim’s squeaky groans, she carried on. “To end the war! Pop the harbinger’s nuts and queen Bruna will lose the support of the other nobles!”
At that, Liriel’s anger fizzled out. She gave the two large balls a few test squeezes. “Pop them and the war ends?”
“Yes, so either hand over the balls or put them back in their sack! This has already been made harder than it needs to since I’m barefoot.”
“But… Jim…” Liriel desperately pleaded.
“Not so fast, your grace,” the remaining paladin suddenly said, turning every head in the tent towards her – again, excepting Jim. “If what these people say is true-”
Aramis nodded. “It is, my fair rose of the church.”
“-then I believe it would not have the effect you desire, oh most reverend moirai.”
Andria frowned. “What do you mean?”
“If Cillia is subverted by creatures from hell, this war is happening with their express permission. Should the harbinger be castrated, they will most likely come out into the open, seeking to control the nobility with their crude magic to continue this war.”
“That sounds like it is still advantageous, no?”
“I do not think so. As it stands, these vile beasts do not know they have been exposed. If we duly prepare for the negotiations, we will instead have the opportunity to wipe them out in an ambush and end this war in one fell swoop. Once the demons are banished, we will have ample reason to seize Bruna and bring her to justice.”
“That does sound sensible… But it looks like the boy is castrated already anyway, so what do you propose we do? Just have me regrow his pair?”
“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Inacea said and put a finger against her cheek. She ignored how slimy it felt. “That’s just a little trick I can do. They’ll go back safely to their ballbag in a bit.” She turned to Liriel. “Want to store them in Jim’s pocket until then?”
Liriel shook her head. “Nn, I will keep them with me.”
Inacea smirked. “… naughty girl,” she muttered.
Andria relented. “Very well, then that will be our plan.” The party, minus Jim, breathed a sigh of relief. “Do you want to stay here in camp then? I’m sure we can find a tent for you.”
Aramis shook his head. “Too kind of you, your grace, but we will have to decline. We talked about it and now that we have said our piece, we plan to ride back to Hôdoburg. There is no telling what exposing the baroness and arresting the queen will shake loose, and if we can do our part to keep the regular folks safe, we wish to do what we can.”
“Very well. My, this day has taken a few very sharp turns. Can I at least offer you in a spot of tea until Jim is up and on his feet again?”
That got some murmurs of approval, and soon they were all enjoying a mildly spicy tea blend that Andria herself had made.
The party still managed to coax a few surplus weapons from the paladins as reward – nothing grand, just two swords for Liriel and Jim, a bow for Aramis and a pair of daggers – and eventually, they got up and headed out into the night, back towards Hôdoburg for, hopefully, the last time.
Andria hummed as she watched the night swallow them, and then hummed some more when she gathered the tea set to put it away.
Even with the shocking news of demons influencing, or even outright controlling Cillia, she was in a good mood. Andria still needed to lead a bunch of Valesian paladins towards arguably the most powerful woman in Bythos at the moment. But now, she didn’t need to worry about performing to any diplomatic standard. She just needed to fight and arrest her. That sounded much more like her cup of tea. Like a real adventuress!
Her thoughts were cut short when she felt the garotte close around her neck. The tea cup fell from her hand and shattered.
“Please forgive me for this, your grace. I would prefer a more direct method, but given your newfound abilities, I judged throttling you to be the most certain way to guarantee your passing. Do not think me cruel, I don’t relish causing you undue pain and strife.”
A knee buried itself into the small of her back, pushing her away to keep her hands from reaching her assassin. The wire dug deep into her throat and the colour faded from her lips.
“Your death is an unfortunate necessity, as you are the only one left capable of interfering with her highness’s plans. Please rest peacefully in the knowledge that it is not your fault.”
The paladin watched Andria breathe her last and then took her helmet off.
Effi sighed. Someone would discover her in the morning and blame Jim and the others. It was inevitable, since the alternative was for the Valesian order to consider a murderer in their own ranks. That would never happen.
"Time to follow the thread all the way to the end now, Jim. I wonder what you will find at the centre of the web. Don't you?"
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*[A guide to the world of Bythos!](https://imgur.com/uVKT2Kc)*
*I have written up a few snippets on Bythos and the characters in Seeds of Heroism and put it behind the imgur link above. Hopefully it’ll be useful!*
[A guide to the world of Bythos!](https://imgur.com/a/poZLPkK)
“It feels strange to set up camp for another night when we’re just a week away from Hôdoburg, like we’re taking it easy,” Andria said as she watched the paladins ram another set of stakes into the soft earth.
“Not at all, your Grace. If you were still travelling as part of an adventurer party, going for longer at the risk of arriving in the middle of the night would be no issue, but we mustn’t do so as a diplomatic delegation. It would give the wrong impression,” the woman said and wiped the sweat off her brow, leaving a dark stain.
Andria’s eyes glazed over when she heard the formal address. These days, it’s all ‘your Grace’ or ‘most reverend moirai’. Ever since Leonia had left.
Despite her sigh, she had to admit, it felt nice to be able to travel with a bunch of Valesian paladins to guard and wait on her hand and foot. It made for much easier travelling than when she had been a regular adventuress back in Calvino. Although even that had been kind of a breeze once Leonia had joined their party.
But the paladins were all so dang stuck-up! Not like the former knight-captain. She wasn’t one to crack jokes, sure, but that was clearly because the woman had such a one-track mind. Once you got used to her, she was good fun to be around.
To think, the knight-captain, joining her and the others on their adventures! She never would have dreamed of such a thing just days prior. Even the twins had readily accepted the veteran fighter. That had surprised Andria, but it made sense given Leonia’s reputation for beating any man in a fight, and often leaving them a testicle or two lighter. The twins had started out calling her by her old nickname, ‘Spearbreaker’, but the phlegmatic knight had quickly got them to stop that. Although the twins took that as an excuse to call her anything but her name. ‘Tall bitch’ and ‘cockbreath’ were among their more charming picks.
Andria giggled at the memory. While the paladins were still setting up her tent, she could at least make herself useful. She strolled through their camp, stopping every once in a while to offer healing to anyone that might need it. No one was seriously hurt, just a few blisters from ill-fitting boots and a splinter. After a quick burst of light magic, Andria settled on making a snack for herself while camp was being set up.
While peeling an apple, her mind drifted back to how she had become the maiden of light. Drinking the ambrosia had been strange. Back in the crystal cave, that dungeon, she had marvelled at the strange liquid. It looked like a puddle of liquid sunlight, both a fluid she could touch and drink, and something entirely incorporeal at the same time. It glowed like a lit torch, but brighter, with the colour of a noon sun. And despite that, it had been merely warm, so pleasant to feel on her skin.
She remembered that clearly, partly because it had been such a wondrous sight… and partly because of the metal claw that had slashed at her, ripping out a chunk of her side. She had seen blood plenty of times, both animal and human blood. But to see such a torrent of red flow out of her own body, it had still shocked her.
Andria had assumed she was as good as dead at that point. What could she hope to do against a sorceress, even one that had a bolt sticking out of her side? And so, she decided to do the only thing that came to mind, the one thing that would stop the ambrosia from falling into the hands of these crooks. She drank it.
And while it tasted unlike anything she ever drank before, she’d had to pay for her decision dearly. Again, and again, the sorceress had slashed at her, and each time Andria couldn’t think of anything else but healing her wounds. She shuddered as she remembered the pain.
The sorceress eventually slowed down, weakened by her wound, and Andria had been faced with the unpleasant feeling of wanting to take revenge on her. Of making her feel the same pain she had inflicted on her. Thankfully, Leonia had arrived seconds later and decapitated the sorceress, sparing her from giving in to these depraved urges.
“Hey boy,” a paladin called out to one of the men that had been hired as additional heavers by the order, “what’s really small but gets bigger when you kick it, and is round and flat at the same time?” She didn’t even wait for his answer. “Your nuts!” she yelled and slammed the flat side of a heavy war hammer up into his groin.
The weapon hit the front of his groin perfectly, striking the place Andria knew to be a man’s greatest weakness with pinpoint precision. Mercilessly, it travelled upwards, lifting and flattening its target until it encountered something less mobile than a testicle, his pelvis.
Andria didn’t need to hear the gonad’s last cry before it departed this world, a short, unimpressive *squick*, to know that it had just been reduced from fruit to pulp. She had seen the Valesian paladins, especially the younger girls, pull variations of this prank far too many times these last days.
“Got you, hahaha!” the paladin yelled and slapped her knee. Andria sighed. It wasn’t even her fault that all across camp, day in, day out, balls were getting pulped. The church had made her prove herself, first by demonstrating that she was indeed capable of healing with magic, then by healing what was normally impossible: a destroyed body part.
She hadn’t thought anything of it when she was asked to restore a sexton’s manhood. He wasn’t a noble that had lost a power struggle or consigned to the care of the church because he had one too many siblings all vying for an inheritance. No, he had been an adventurer, a simple man, young and bright-eyed, who had been hired for an exploratory trip to the impenetrable jungles south of Bosalmak. A careless nap up in a tree had changed his life’s trajectory forever when a lamia, one of the mysterious women that possessed the lower body of a snake, had sneaked up on him and plucked his fruits as if they were a pair of ripe apples.
Andria was sure by now that they had selected the boy specifically to tear at her heartstrings. She had agreed to heal him, of course she had. They strapped him to a cross so that his legs were spread and easily accessible, and she had let the magic flow. She didn’t need any spell, nor did she suddenly learn how to channel mana. Rather, it had felt like she had always possessed these abilities, and drinking the ambrosia had simply informed her of that fact.
Healing the boy’s balls was very rewarding. He had looked so happy! Andria had even let the mana flow a bit longer, making his package just a bit larger than it originally had been – which was a strange thought as well, she had never seen him before, but when she healed him, she knew exactly when the growing spuds had reached their original size. So, she just kept going a little bit longer, making the sack swing just a bit lower and made his nuts just a bit heftier.
Of course, that had only made it all the more painful for her when, after confirming that he had indeed been given his manhood back, the Sophian council had promptly popped his new testicles again, splattering them across the chapel house’s stone floor. He was happier serving the church as a sexton, they had declared, and that he had found new faith in the Goddess thanks to his lack of sinful balls.
Someone must have blabbed that she was indeed capable of healing broken balls, because ever since then, women around her had been holding nothing back when playing such pranks. How many times had she stitched together a ruptured testicle now? How many times disentangled twisted nut cords? How many new pairs had she grown with her new powers, replacing entire sacks that were ripped away?
She had to put a stop to this. “I’m just going to tell you now, I won’t be healing that!” she said snarkily and started flipping the apple slices she was candying in a pan over the fire.
“Huh?” the paladin girl said. “But I just popped it! It’s gone!”
“Yes, and if I just heal it, you will just pop another ball without giving any thought to the consequences. And that’s why I won’t heal any more popped testicles.”
The man, the heaver, was on the floor crying and moaning, but still he managed to squeak out, “Please, my nut! You need to get me back my nut!”
Andria only shook her head. “I’m doing this for your benefit. These girls need to learn to stop breaking your nuts and those of all the other boys just for fun. This ball healer has retired once and for all. Done. Finito.”
She shovelled the caramelized fruit onto a plate, melted sugar still sizzling, and walked back to her tent, leaving the young paladin to deal with the fallout of her prank-castration herself.
She headed inside her tent, put her plate on the little cot, and rummaged through her pack to fish out the notes for the parlay with the queen. With one hand, she speared slices of apple on her fork and tried to lift them to her mouth without soiling her notes or her clothes, while the other hand combed through stacks of parchment to try and find her conclusions.
*Cillia’s casus bellis are two-fold. For one, they seek to restore the honour of an adventurer called Jim. A ridiculous notion, even with the queen’s spiel about how his situation mirrors that of Cillia, but since it is her stated reason for the war, I will need to address it,* she summarized to herself and stabbed her cheek with hot fruit.
Rubbing the burnt spot, her thoughts turned to the real meat of Cillia’s war. *The other, actual reason is that they seek justice for the destruction of Gimeit a hundred years ago. Norea’s milk jugs, you would think after a hundred years they would have accepted their defeat in a war they had started.*
*Their first concern can be dealt with easily enough. Queen Isidora has already retracted her condemnation of the guy. Some sort of compensation could be arranged easily enough.* Jim… the name seemed familiar to Andria, besides just the news that went around when people thought he had defiled princess Despina. But she couldn’t place where she had heard of it before. Maybe somewhere back in the adventurer’s guild?
*Their second concern, Bruna’s real objective, is the issue. Gimeit was irrecoverably destroyed, my predecessor, the maiden of water Saint Meera, has seen to that. Goddess, it feels so strange to think that. My predecessor… but it’s true, I’m the maiden of light now.*
Andria shook her head. *Focus – Cillia is essentially waging a war of conquest, so getting Bruna to relinquish control over any amount of land is a success. You are way out of your league here anyway, for now, just try to come up with a way to convince Cillia to retreat before they raze Calvino to the ground.*
A drop of sugary oil fell from her meal and onto the parchment. Andria cursed up a storm and quickly brushed it off with her clothes, leaving behind a greasy smear. Grumbling, she quickly finished the rest of her meal and then returned to her notes.
She suspected it wasn’t justice queen Bruna sought, but vengeance. If so, what could sooth her lust for revenge? Her armies had already taken Roridafiga, as well as several smaller towns and villages on the road to Calvino. Plenty of people had died in the battles, but her army didn’t go out of its way to attack the common folk, so it can’t be simple bloodlust driving her.
Granted, refugees from the north reported that the Cillian soldiers were prioritising the castration of any male they could find, but it didn’t seem like they were actually ordered to depopulate the area. Rather, the all-female units just went hog wild whenever they saw a man, kicking, stomping and squeezing his balls in an almost animalistic fashion. Only when they had ground his nuts to mush or had torn off the entire nutsack did they seem satisfied and moved on. They didn’t even always take their new geldings as slave labour, letting some of them go after their brutal castration! They completely ignored what was standard practice in the republic, and it didn’t make sense.
*That was another point that would hinder negotiations, Calvino would never accept any of its population being enslaved. According to some accounts, slavery is the issue that originally caused a schism between the nations hundreds and hundreds of years ago.*
But would Calvino accept any loss of territory? Currently, the border mostly followed the natural barriers between the two countries. Giving up any territory would give Cillia a foothold beyond them, inviting further invasions down the line.
Why was the Cillian army so effective all of a sudden, anyway? Ever since the fall of Gimeit, the republic had been without any noteworthy generals and officers, and they had always struggled to get their hands on enough high-quality iron. The deposits on the Calvinian side of the Broken Sword range were much richer, not to mention that the Dwarven realm centred around the Kilpi Vuoret was wedged into the south-western part of Calvino, forming a rough triangle between Calvino, Kumarbi and the orc steppes. It made for much easier trading with the reclusive race.
Andria sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She could feel a headache oncoming.
When she got up to get some water, she was shocked that it had already turned to night.
The night’s chill was welcome on her skin, soothing the thumping pain behind her eyes just a tad. She decided to walk through the night barefoot. Cold dew tingled on her toes, but it felt oh so refreshing. Barefoot, Andria filled her waterskin, took a deep drink from it and topped it up again. Walking back, she could hear a commotion in the direction of her tent.
*Oh boy, what did they do this time? Pour hot oil on a boy’s sack? Bind one to a tree and use his nuts as a rope swing? Force a man to pull logs for the campfire by tying them to his balls?*
A group of paladins formed a circle, talking animatedly amongst themselves. Andria cleared her throat to get their attention.
“What’s going on here? What happened?”
“Your grace! I am glad to see you unharmed. We have arrested several suspicious people sneaking around camp. We fear they were trying to ambush you.”
“You fear? Didn’t you ask them what they wanted?”
“We did, oh most reverend moirai. They claim that they wanted to talk to you about Cillia’s queen.”
Her brows shot up, reaching for her hairline. “Where are they? I wish to hear what they have to say.”
“We have them here, bound, your grace. We subdued the men, and then their companions surrendered.”
Andria winced, fairly sure she knew how a group of paladins would ‘subdue’ men. She really hoped she wouldn’t have to go back on her new resolve so soon and put these boys’ balls back together.
Andria led them into her tent. It became clear why she hadn’t spotted the prisoners before: all of them were intricately hogtied, lines of rope criss-crossing their bodies, binding their hands to their feet. The paladins held them like some sort of package by a loop of rope that pulled on their chests as well as their crotches – in the case of the two males, they were being lifted by their nuts. *No, wait,* Andria corrected herself, *that one is only getting lifted by one nut, the rest is still hidden in his pants. Gosh, that thing is big…*
For the female prisoners, the cord traversed through their crotches, digging into the soft middle of their loins and then formed a parallel line around their hips, like a belt. For all three of them, Andria could make out the small bumps where the pressure pushed against the petals of their flowers, putting the plump lips on prominent display. *That looks like it feels kind of nice*, she thought.
Then her eyes fell on their gagged faces and she frowned. “… Jim?”
“You know these interlopers, your grace?”
“Just that one, I think… can you untie him?”
The paladin nodded and pulled on one rope that, somehow, loosened the one in Jim’s mouth.
Instead of a greeting, a long groan came from him. The paladin carrying him clicked her tongue and, with her free hand, gave his stretched nut a sharp slap. “Talk, boy.”
A shrill whine later, he managed to do just that. “You’re… the vet from the guild? Sorry, we wanted to talk to the maiden of light.”
Andria smiled. “You found her. Are they your friends?” She nodded towards Liriel and the others.
“Yeah… Andria, right? I thought you wanted to be an adventuress, why are you- Oof!” Another slap to his ball made him swing back and forth, the groaning rope matching the sounds Jim made.
“You will speak respectfully or not at all, boy!”
“It’s alright, we know each other. For now, just untie them all. You can leave us alone after that.” Andria dismissed the protests of the paladins, but acquiesced that one of the women stay in the tent as a guard. Some moments later, Jim’s party was free again and alone with Andria in the tent, although the boys subtly tried to rub their nuts. Liriel and Inacea both wore a subtle blush on their cheeks, breathing a bit too quickly, while Zenobia had a blissful smile on her face.
“Please, sit. I’ll tell you what happened.” Andria started recounting the past few months, her gentle voice filling the tent. She spoke of how she joined an all-female party, how the party gradually grew, and they settled into a rhythm with each successful quest. How they dared take a lucrative quest of a noble seeking the mythical substance known as ambrosia, and how they found it in a wondrous cave of crystal and light.
Just then, a frighteningly large and violent force reached and attacked them, and Andria, in her desperation, couldn’t think of a better way to deny the legendary elixir to their attackers than imbibing it. She only mentioned the wondrous abilities the ambrosia granted her in passing, focusing on the church immediately enlisting her to act as neutral arbiter between Calvino and Cillia.
Stunned silence descended upon the group. It was Inacea who eventually broke it, saying, “That seems like an awful lot to burden a simple adventuress with… uhm, no offence.”
Andria shook her head. “None taken, you are right. I have no idea how I’m supposed to convince the queen to pull back her forces. I think the church expects her to just listen to me because of this moirai thing…”
Jim pinched his pants again, uncomfortably shifting on his seat. He was horny all day and night ever since he had been locked up by the queen, and now that the pain in his nuts abated, the need to cum surged back to the forefront of his mind. “I’m afraid the queen won’t listen to you. Actually, I would be surprised if she doesn’t try to capture you, or something of that ilk.”
When Andria signed for him to explain, he screwed his eyes shut and took a deep breath before continuing. “Queen Bruna is consorting with demons.”
The former vet gasped and clasped a hand in front of her mouth. A blush formed on her face. “She’s having carnal relations with demons?”
Liriel tilted her head. “What?”
“No, I mean, she’s working together with demons, maybe even made a pact with them!” Jim hurried to explain. Liriel shifted beside him.
“Oh. Ohh! Oh no.” Andria scratched her head. “Can you tell me more?”
“I think that is my cue.” Absorbed in thought, Zenobia played with a lock of her hair. “The reason for Cillia’s success, as well as their brutal treatment of men, lies in their usage of a demonic substance, a synthetic approximation of the ambrosia you mentioned. I won’t bore you with the details, but it is created with *peccatum lac*, or black milk as it is commonly known. I had been wondering where they were sourcing it from, but as we found out, one of the nobles on the queen’s council is a demon herself. Baroness Helene of Watari is a creature of hell.”
Andria gulped, thinking of the trap she might have walked into in the capital. There was no way a demon walked the earth and would let the maiden of light do as she pleased, especially if this beast was involved in this war itself. Andria shook her head. *No, this whole war might have been the demon’s plan from the start.*
“Are you absolutely sure about this? Accusing a noble of being a fiend is no small charge. I need to be certain that she is what you claim.”
Jim nodded. “Hell is trying to capture me for… some reason.” He didn’t dare mention his suspicions regarding Lilith taking revenge on him, or that his balls might be particularly valuable to the underworld because of Norea’s influence. “I narrowly avoided being accosted by the baroness.”
Andria stared long and hard at Jim. “Jim, I don’t mean to be dismissive, I do believe you, but… others might not see it that way. To them, your words do not carry the same weight.”
“Oh.” His eyes wandered the tent as he thought. “Even as the queen’s harbinger?”
Andria gaped at him. “You’re queen Bruna’s harbinger?”
“Yes? I thought you knew, given that you were sent to negotiate with her.”
A clear, purling laughter started filling the tent. Andria laughed brightly, and it seemed like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. “I never knew! Harbinger is a position used by Cillian royalty to consolidate their power on the inside, they would never tell their enemies who fills that position.”
Jim smiled at the sudden release Andria felt, and gladly let himself be pulled to his feet when she reached out her hands.
“That makes everything so much easier! Thank you, Jim. I mean it.”
He grinned. “Don’t mention it, I’m happy to help!”
“Oh, this is a good opportunity…” She gently touched her legs, a gentle glow emanating from her fingers. “I’ve been speculating that I might be able to grow muscles with my new powers, make people stronger, you know?” Jim nodded, even through the coarse fabric of her pants he could see her thighs start to swell and grow. Powerful muscles twitched all along her legs that looked like those of a professional cyclist. Or a kickboxer.
“Alright, then let’s end this war, alright?” She put her fingers together and gifted him a sweet smile.
“Yeah, let’s.” Inspired by her elation, he gave her a thumbs-up.
Then she drew her leg back and time seemed to slow. He recognized her stance, of course, but his brain didn’t catch up to what was about to happen. In a crescent arc, Andria’s bare foot whistled through the air, soughing to the exact centre of his body.
“Eh?” was all the noise he managed to make, looking only mildly surprised, while Liriel, Aramis and Inacea cried out in shock.
The dainty foot rang both of his bells with pinpoint accuracy, her toes striking the bottom of his testicles. His nuts were violently thrown back, smacking against his ass and then drooped down, momentum making them swing forward.
Andria had counted on this. She hadn’t let her foot follow the kick through to its painful end, but had drawn the limb back down and stomped it on the ground. It provided an anchor for her other leg.
In a snap-kick, her left leg shoot forward with enough momentum to make the maiden herself lift off the ground. Leg swinging up, sack swinging down, their collision was inevitable. This second, more acrobatic kick, wasn’t as centre as the first. The top of Andria’s foot struck the right nut almost in the middle, while her toes only grazed the left ball, pinching the sensitive bottom between her toes.
He fell to the ground silently, twitching. Already regaining her balance, Andria lifted her right leg again, aiming to stomp Jim’s nuts until they bit the dust.
“Noo!” Liriel shouted and reached out, but she was too late. As she cried out, Andria’s foot zoomed down and buried itself into the floor.
Tears welled up in Liriel’s eyes. “No! No… Jim… Jim’s plums… You broke them…”
Andria tilted her head in confusion and lifted her leg. She inspected the sole of her foot, expecting to see the remains of Jim’s manhood dripping from it, but she saw just her plain, slightly dusty foot.
“They’re gone!” Liriel blubbered.
Aramis cleared his throat. “Uhm, about that…”
Ina couldn’t hide her disgust any longer. “Oh Goddess, why are they squirming so much? I think I can feel them churning in my hands!” True enough, two potato-sized, crooked testicles quivered between her fingers, one in each hand.
“Jim’s plums!” Liriel gasped and reached for the nuts that Ina was only too happy to part with. “You saved them! Thank you so much! My, they feel even heavier than usual…”
“What’s going on? Why do you have those?”
With the two testicles safely in her grasp, Liriel turned to Andria, ignored her question and puffed out her cheeks. “What are you doing! You almost popped them!” In anger, her hands dug into the freshly busted nuts, straining the gonads further.
“Yes, that was the point,” Andria countered. “We just said that that’s what we’d do!” When the party only gave her silent stares, excepting Jim’s squeaky groans, she carried on. “To end the war! Pop the harbinger’s nuts and queen Bruna will lose the support of the other nobles!”
At that, Liriel’s anger fizzled out. She gave the two large balls a few test squeezes. “Pop them and the war ends?”
“Yes, so either hand over the balls or put them back in their sack! This has already been made harder than it needs to since I’m barefoot.”
“But… Jim…” Liriel desperately pleaded.
“Not so fast, your grace,” the remaining paladin suddenly said, turning every head in the tent towards her – again, excepting Jim. “If what these people say is true-”
Aramis nodded. “It is, my fair rose of the church.”
“-then I believe it would not have the effect you desire, oh most reverend moirai.”
Andria frowned. “What do you mean?”
“If Cillia is subverted by creatures from hell, this war is happening with their express permission. Should the harbinger be castrated, they will most likely come out into the open, seeking to control the nobility with their crude magic to continue this war.”
“That sounds like it is still advantageous, no?”
“I do not think so. As it stands, these vile beasts do not know they have been exposed. If we duly prepare for the negotiations, we will instead have the opportunity to wipe them out in an ambush and end this war in one fell swoop. Once the demons are banished, we will have ample reason to seize Bruna and bring her to justice.”
“That does sound sensible… But it looks like the boy is castrated already anyway, so what do you propose we do? Just have me regrow his pair?”
“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Inacea said and put a finger against her cheek. She ignored how slimy it felt. “That’s just a little trick I can do. They’ll go back safely to their ballbag in a bit.” She turned to Liriel. “Want to store them in Jim’s pocket until then?”
Liriel shook her head. “Nn, I will keep them with me.”
Inacea smirked. “… naughty girl,” she muttered.
Andria relented. “Very well, then that will be our plan.” The party, minus Jim, breathed a sigh of relief. “Do you want to stay here in camp then? I’m sure we can find a tent for you.”
Aramis shook his head. “Too kind of you, your grace, but we will have to decline. We talked about it and now that we have said our piece, we plan to ride back to Hôdoburg. There is no telling what exposing the baroness and arresting the queen will shake loose, and if we can do our part to keep the regular folks safe, we wish to do what we can.”
“Very well. My, this day has taken a few very sharp turns. Can I at least offer you in a spot of tea until Jim is up and on his feet again?”
That got some murmurs of approval, and soon they were all enjoying a mildly spicy tea blend that Andria herself had made.
The party still managed to coax a few surplus weapons from the paladins as reward – nothing grand, just two swords for Liriel and Jim, a bow for Aramis and a pair of daggers – and eventually, they got up and headed out into the night, back towards Hôdoburg for, hopefully, the last time.
Andria hummed as she watched the night swallow them, and then hummed some more when she gathered the tea set to put it away.
Even with the shocking news of demons influencing, or even outright controlling Cillia, she was in a good mood. Andria still needed to lead a bunch of Valesian paladins towards arguably the most powerful woman in Bythos at the moment. But now, she didn’t need to worry about performing to any diplomatic standard. She just needed to fight and arrest her. That sounded much more like her cup of tea. Like a real adventuress!
Her thoughts were cut short when she felt the garotte close around her neck. The tea cup fell from her hand and shattered.
“Please forgive me for this, your grace. I would prefer a more direct method, but given your newfound abilities, I judged throttling you to be the most certain way to guarantee your passing. Do not think me cruel, I don’t relish causing you undue pain and strife.”
A knee buried itself into the small of her back, pushing her away to keep her hands from reaching her assassin. The wire dug deep into her throat and the colour faded from her lips.
“Your death is an unfortunate necessity, as you are the only one left capable of interfering with her highness’s plans. Please rest peacefully in the knowledge that it is not your fault.”
The paladin watched Andria breathe her last and then took her helmet off.
Effi sighed. Someone would discover her in the morning and blame Jim and the others. It was inevitable, since the alternative was for the Valesian order to consider a murderer in their own ranks. That would never happen.
"Time to follow the thread all the way to the end now, Jim. I wonder what you will find at the centre of the web. Don't you?"
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*[A guide to the world of Bythos!](https://imgur.com/uVKT2Kc)*
*I have written up a few snippets on Bythos and the characters in Seeds of Heroism and put it behind the imgur link above. Hopefully it’ll be useful!*
