My Favorite Real Life Memory

Hi!

I've been getting a ton of DMs from the community asking about my IRL experiences, and I was told that this subreddit would be a good place to share them. I do have a ton of stories from school, including my one and only full-force kick, but I don't want to share them since they involve minors. While the ballbusting died down after high school, I have some memories from college that could be fun to share. Here is the most interesting one because it was a time I kicked a complete stranger :)

So my friends and I were hosting a pretty large gathering at our place, and it was pretty late in the night so we were all pretty drunk. At the start of the night, we knew most of the people there, but since we lived on “the hill,” which is basically a small neighborhood populated entirely with college share houses, the party had gotten to the point where most of the people there were +1s, +2s, or +3s. My friend Lucy (fake name) and I had stepped out into the yard for a cigarette, and we had both been complaining about the gender ratio of our party - more guys than girls. It had gradually become kind of a sausage fest. Given what happens next, this part of our conversation probably lingered subconsciously in our minds as we walked back inside and headed to the kitchen.

 In the hallway, we were blocked by two guys (backs facing us), standing in the large door frame opening onto the kitchen. One of the guys was leaning with his two hands on the doorframe, legs somewhat spread.  As I was about to tap their shoulders to get them to make some space, I see Lucy jokingly throw her foot up between one of the guy's legs, not really going near his balls but clearly mimicking a kick to the nuts. Normally, I would have been surprised that she would make a joke like that because she was a pretty sweet girl who wasn’t very playful with guys, but the guy’s stance in the door frame was so suggestive of a kick in the balls that it was almost inevitable for the thought to come to mind. 

Neither of the guys had registered us after Lucy’s fake “kick.” We break into a silent laughing fit, and I start nodding my head and pointing, trying to gesture quietly to her that she should actually do it. She hesitated and for a second seemed to contemplate it, but eventually backed off and made it clear that she wasn’t going to.

Drunk me can be pretty spontaneous, so without thinking about it I give this guy’s nuts a playful tap from behind with my sandaled foot. He yelps, and immediately goes to his knees without even turning around to see who kicked him. His friend immediately turns around, takes one look at me with a mixture of horror/surprise, and instinctively covers his junk with his hands. “What the fuck?” groaned the busted guy on the ground, while Lucy is dying laughing and also checking on him. 

I definitely wasn’t trying to drop him, so it’s possible that my kick was harder than intended, or the guy was just a little more sensitive down there than others, or the complete surprise of it made it more painful. He was able to get up pretty quickly, but had to hobble over to a chair and sit down for a while. I know a lot of guys who would have made me feel bad about it, but luckily for me the guy was cool about it. He played it off and made a few jokes at his own expense. We ended up chatting and nearly hooking up that night. He and I became friends, and while I never kicked him again, I would always remind him of the night that we met and would jokingly threaten him that I would do it again.