POP Goes A Weasel!! (Part 4)

The fluorescent lights buzzed incessantly in the nearly empty police station as Officer Brandon Rousseau rifled through case files scattered across his cluttered desk. The deep purple shadows cast by the overhead lights danced across his freckled skin, and he absently brushed a hand through his ginger hair streaked with blonde. His muscular frame, slightly paunchy from countless late-night doughnut runs, sank into the plastic chair beneath him. Despite his efforts to shed some weight, the stress of the recent string of bizarre crimes made his compulsive snack habits hard to resist.

Reports of strange occurrences had been flooding the precinct: a series of “pranks” turned sinister around town, all attributed to a figure known as Luna, the sadistic clown girl. Her antics had taken a dark turn, involving several of men’s testicles to be ruptured or flat out popped. To Brandon, every case file he read felt like a piece in a disturbing puzzle, and he had been tasked with piecing together this macabre picture.

It was a Friday night, and the clock on the wall ticked slowly towards midnight. Brandon’s exhaustion weighed heavily on him. He had just made a breakthrough, tying together the strange notes seen at the crime of each victims demise. With that thought fresh in mind, he stood up and stretched, deciding it was finally time to close up for the night.

He walked through the dimly lit precinct, glancing over his shoulder at the posters that hung like a testament to the bizarre crimes they had faced: a collage of Luna’s twisted antics and the resulting chaos. As he locked up his office, a creeping sense of unease settled over him. He couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was always watching, ready to pounce on the unsuspecting.

With a sigh, Brandon exited the building, the night air chilling against his freckled face. He made his way to his car, a sturdy old sedan that had seen better days but was reliable. After a brief drive through the winding streets, he arrived at his cozy home. The lights flickered on with a warm glow as he pushed the front door open, the familiar creaks comforting him after a long night.

“Damn… Work is gonna be the death of me.” Brandon says as he stretches and cracks his aching back.

Before he could even kick off his boots, there was a loud knock echoing from his front door, startling him. Brandon hesitated, his heart pounding in his chest. He peered through the peephole, but all he saw was darkness.

Catching his breath, he decided it was probably kids playing pranks or something equally harmless. Just to be safe, he retrieved his flashlight and edged closer to the door.
With a shaking hand, he turned the knob slowly. It swung open with a groan, and there, illuminated by the moonlight, stood a colossal jack-in-the-box toy. Its grin was impossibly wide, and the bright colors were at odds with its eerie presence. The toy towered above him, painted in jarring shades of red, yellow, and green, its spring coiled tightly, ready to spring. On its face, a painted jester’s smile reflected the graffiti Brandon had seen in the recent investigations.

“What the fuck? What dumb kid put this here?!” Brandon says in a pissed off and exhausted tone as he steps further outside.

Before he could react, the jack-in-the-box sprang open with a loud ‘POP!’, and out tumbled a clown figure lurching forward, cackling maniacally. Brandon stumbled back, heart racing, as he recognized the unmistakable silhouette—Luna, the sadistic clown girl who had turned the town upside down.

“SURRPRISEEEE!” she squealed, her voice a discordant melody.

She twirled, showing off her new look having dyed her hair black with red streaks, and is now wearing what seems to be a mime costume just a lot more skimpier, as her large boobs bounced after her twirl. She possessed an unsettling charm that intrigued and terrified him in equal measure, and a deluge of adrenaline coursed through his veins.

“Oh wait! Almost forgot!!” She says as she quickly stops talking and starts using body movements.

“Wh-What do you want?? Who are you?!” Brandon stammered, instinctively reaching for his radio as if he could call backup in the face of this absurdity.

Luna’s smile widened, her eyes glinting with malicious delight. As she introduces herself with her magical powers, making them spell out her name, after he sees her little magical introduction, he couldn’t help but think if he was dreaming this. He then shines his flashlight into her eye, causing her to wince a bit from the sudden flash.

“Now…WHAT do YOU want?!” Brandon says as his voice gets more stern and demanding, making her comically jump a bit from his loud tone.

After he finishes yelling at her, she pulls out a giant glistening knife from thin air, twirling it skillfully, before pointing at his pretty large bulge in his tight uniform.

“Is this a joke?!!” he snapped, trying to suppress the rising panic in his throat as he feels his balls retreat up a bit.

She mouths a giggle and leaps back into the giant jack-in-the-box. Brandon’s instincts kicked in; as he bolted to the side, his heart racing. He knew this clown wasn’t just any prankster—she was a menace. As her sudden movements caused him to pull out his taser, and shock her a bit. His plan is successfully, before she could fully enter the box he manages to tase her on the back of her thick thighs, causing her to spasm for a few seconds before finally going unconscious.

Brandon takes a sigh of relief as he stands up and dusts off his uniform, before slowly stepping closer to the unconscious clown girl and picking up her motionless body to handcuff her to the patio, so he could call for backup. As he grabs his phone and dials 911, he turns around to see Luna awake and struggling to get out of her restraints. He slowly walks over to her with a smug look and crouches down.

“No use you clown! Backup is already five minutes away!!” Brandon says as he chuckles in front of Luna’s face.

His chuckle is cut short as he realizes Luna is giving him a devilish smirk, she struggles from her restraints a few more times letting her boobs flop around with each movement, causing Brandon to eventually look down and get distracted, but that was his biggest mistake, as he notices a flower on her left boob, but before he could react the flower sprays out bear mace right into his face as the chemicals begin to burn, causing Brandon to stumble back and let out an agonizing yell.

“AAUUUGHHH!! YO—YOU BITCH!! I CAN’T FUCKING SE—“ His deep voice echoes through the silent night.

But Brandon’s sentence is cut off as Luna frees herself from her restraints and grabs her knife from before, and slices a giant tear in his right uniform pants, showing his underwear with silly heart patterns on them. Luna couldn’t help but eye his fat bulge for a bit, the way it bounced in the moonlight caused her pussy to get a bit wet, especially when she was imagining the satisfying popping noise they’d make after she was done. So snapping back to reality she tears his underwear clean off letting his 5 inch cock but impressive walnut shaped balls dangle around in the cold breeze. Not wanting to waste any more time, she grabs his sack with a firm grip and yanks it down hard, causing him to let out a choked yell. Her hand then glows a faint yellow color as electricity begins to warp around both her hand and Brandon’s poor sperm tanks.

With a vice like grip she can feel Brandon’s testicles flatten around her hand as the electricity grows stronger and stronger, Brandon lets out a blood curdling scream as he feels like his balls are being cooked alive from the intense electricity. He looks up at Luna’s crazed face with tears in his eyes and snot running from his nose and sees her smiling like it’s the most funniest thing she’s ever seen. After what felt like hours of at least 10 million volts of electricity in his sack Luna finally lets go to look at his now charred ballsack.

Brandon lets out a bunch of ragged breaths and pained sobs as he knows for a fact his testicles have been ruined. But Luna isn’t done just yet as she holds her hand out and the giant knife from earlier appears from thin air with a shimmering sound effect before gently falling in her hand.

She then grabs his charred and smoked danglers and places the knife on his sack, before slicing back and forth until it’s finally severed from his body. Brandon can’t even scream or let out a noise as he’s barely conscious from the high volts of electricity coursing through his body. Luna raises the charred severed sack into the air as a victory fanfare plays before placing the scrotum in her mouth and chomping down with a sickening—

*SQUELCH* *CHEW* *POP* *CHEW*

After enjoying her meal she turns around and hears police cars approaching closer and closer to the scene, so without hesitation she quickly grabs her sticky notes and writes down—

“MMMM~ I LOVE toasted nuts!! X)”