Sophie's Choice

This is expanding on the setting that started with "His Last Time". Someone else had said that I should do a story following Tara (the unnamed girl in His Last Time) as she popped a bunch of people. The way I'd set her up in that story didn't really work with her being a serial castrator so I decided to have her help someone out that was looking for a ball popping experience. This story also gives more detail into the process, and it's from the perspective of someone that's actually interested in ball busting rather than someone hoping to save his balls.


Warning, Transfem main character, violent and heavily described destruction of testicles.


I'm still working on my writing, any kind of useful feedback is appreciated. If you think it's bad, feel free to call it out as bad, but please say why.


Sophie used to be named Shane. She had transitioned a few years back, but still had her 7 inch cock and large balls. But she loved crushing her balls. She knew she would never want to get rid of her cock, although she felt more fulfilled identifying and living as a woman, she could never get rid of her cock.

She had considered getting her balls removed, but even before transitioning she had been turned on by ball busting. Since transitioning, something had changed and ball busting was so much better for her. She could orgasm simply by punching, squeezing, or hammering her balls now, before she would get good feelings from it but would always need to stroke her dick to get off.

This change only made her more enthusiastic looking online for ball busting videos, and especially popping videos as rare as they were. She was enthralled by the idea of destroying her balls, but so many of the videos out there were just using a spiked hammer or something and felt crude.

One day, she ran across a recent upload of a supposed popping video. It was a bit misleading since the video seemed to start when the balls were already popped, but the aftermath was amazing. She watched as they used some kind of air bag thing to eject the remains of the guy’s balls out his dick and the look on his face looked like he’d just experienced indescribable bliss.

Sophie got herself off several times that night watching the video over and over. His scrotum seemed like it had to be intact after that, and the way he came looked perfect. Scouring the video, she saw that there was some kind of rolling machine with a hand crank on the side, that must be what they popped the balls with.

Sophie spent the next few weeks trying to track down the origin of the video, and eventually landed on an account on a website that was in the backend of the internet but not quite the dark web. Having run out of leads pointing anywhere else, she figured she’d send a message and see what she got back.

“Hi, I saw the video of your blow that guy’s balls out of his dick. That looked spectacular and I can’t describe how hot I found it. I’ve wanted to have my balls destroyed for a while, but all the other videos I’ve seen are just crude spiked objects. Seeing your video, I was hoping you might be able to give me the same treatment as you gave that guy.”

It was a shot in the dark, but she hoped that someone would get back to her.

The next day, she had an email saying someone had replied to her DM. She quickly went to check the DM on the site and was giddy with what she read.

“Hi, glad you enjoyed that show. I’ll be honest, I’m not really a part of the ball busting community, so I had no idea how much love my little show was going to get. Everyone else has just been asking for more of the video, but you’re the first one to ask to take part. If you’re really sure that this is what you want, I can help you, we used a drug that helps with the pain. The guy in the video was an asshole we were getting revenge on and I’m pretty certain that he would have been screaming for his mommy if he weren’t high as a kite in the clip. If you really are interested in going through with it, would you mind if we had someone else there to record the whole thing?”

Sophie was a bit overwhelmed with that, she’d finally found the person that did it, they were happy to help out, and they were even able to help deal with the pain. And there was a twinge of excitement at being recorded as well.

“Yes, I am extremely sure I want to. I transitioned a few years back and have been kind of wanting to get rid of my balls for a while. I’m interested in the drug you used, if the pain is deadened then that sounds even better. I’d be happy to be recorded, but could we used masks?”

It was a few hours before she got a reply back, they were happy to help and were fine with masks.

Now was figuring out the logistics of it all, it turned out to be startlingly easy since of all the places they could have been, Sophie didn’t expect it to be a smaller city about a 45 minute drive away.

They wanted to meet her at a coffee shop in the city just to get to know eachother a bit. If there weren’t any major issues, they would bring Sophie out to the place they had set up for it.

\-----

Sophie was excited for it all, but scheduling being what it is, it was a few days before they could all meet up. There would be three of them, the girl from the video, someone else that would be the cameraman, and Sophie.

Sophie was well ahead of time since she had a longer drive, so she was sitting in the back corner of the cafe they’d agreed to meet at. She was wearing a lime green top that was contrasting heavily with the attempt to be discreet in the back of the room.

A few minutes before they agreed to meet, a woman and a man walked in, it took all of 5 seconds for them to spot Sophie wearing the lighthouse beacon of a t-shirt and walked over.

“Hey, I’m guessing you’re Sophie then? When you said ‘don’t worry, you’ll know’ I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but you were right.”

Sophie shook the offered hand as the two sat down, “Yep, that’s me. So I guess you’re the operator and he’s the camera man?”

“Yep, Ted here will be the camera man, he also helped find the pain killers I talked about. Hopefully you’ll be happy with how it works. I’m Tara, if you’re wondering why I look so different from the video, I was wearing some pretty significant prosthetics to act as a honeypot for the jackass.”

“I was a little curious but didn’t really want to bring it up. You honestly look better this way, the bimbo look doesn’t suit you. But you’ve got a fantastic ass.”

Tara smiled softly at that, “Yeah, just about everyone says that. So, you’re really interested in going through with this?”

“Yeah, like I said, this is something I’ve wanted for a few years now, but I was looking for a balance point between losing them, and enjoying the process. Between what it looks like the process is and the assistance that Ted is providing this sounds perfect for me.”

“Okay, well that sounds pretty certain on your part. Remember that you can back out at almost any point once we start, you might be certain now, but that may change. But once we’ve reached rupture, you’ll probably want to just follow through to the end.”

“Pretty sure I’m ready. So when do we start?”

“Let’s not be hasty, let’s have lunch here and then we can head over to my place.”

We spent the next hour or so just chatting about ourselves, Tara explained why the asshole in the video got the treatment he did, and I kind of agreed with it. A little bit much for what I’d probably have done, but I guess that’s part of the issue with vigilante justice, it’s uneven punishment. Although I wasn’t going to shame them too much for actions that will benefit me; the whole process was only worked out because that guy had to be punished.

We left and I followed her car out into the edge of town. We pulled up at a small ranch style house. She parked her car in the garage and came out to walk with me to the front door. Ted must have gone in through and interior door, I didn’t see him anywhere.

We had been a bit circumspect with how we talked about everything while we were out in public. While it technically wasn’t illegal, issues could come up from people catching on so we were better off not just outright talking about it.

“The drug we were using is a bit of an oddball, it causes fluctuations in your mind which makes you able to focus in really easily, that seemed to help with the asshole because he seemed to be getting distracted when his balls were being pulverized. In higher doses it causes a kind of paralysis, you basically lose control of your muscles, but for some reason natural reactions are still there. You keep breathing, your heart keeps pumping, and apparently humping in response to stimulus is one too. From Ted’s testing on himself, you still feel the pain, but there’s a balancing wave of pleasure. Ted was using a lower dose and was exposing himself to lower levels of pain, so there may be some odd interactions with higher doses and higher pain being inflicted. For hopefully obvious reasons, we can’t exactly go talk to asshole about how he’s doing in the long term.”

“Okay, that… I’m not quite sure what to think of that. I will say that I already have a pleasure response to pain so hopefully this just amplifies that. And I’d guess it’ll just improve that in the long term maybe. I’m not sure if I like being paralyzed, could we use a lower dose to avoid that?”

“Sure thing, that was probably also why asshole had such difficulty speaking as the drug kicked in. You want it the same way we gave it to him? Just mix it into a drink?”

“I guess that works, how else would you take it?”

“A little spoon and water, It’s kind of unpleasant according to Ted, but easier to manage the dose that way. But since the dose is measured in grams, I don’t think a tiny bit sticking to the glass is much of a concern.”

“Thanks, I’d rather not try and cinnamon challenge myself with sketchy drugs.”

“Hah, yeah, makes me a little curious how Ted does it, but Ted does Ted things and so we leave him to it. You need to be a little odd to be the guy finding fucked up drugs like that to use for what we needed. You fine with coke for the drink?”

“Yeah, that works. Probably covers up the taste pretty well.”

“Asshole didn’t seem to notice, so I guess so. I’ll get that mixed up and we can head down to the play room before you drink it, it kicks in fairly quickly so you’ll want to be undressed and ready to lay down.”

I followed her into the kitchen as she poured a glass of coke and mixed in some off-white powder from an unlabeled sandwich bag.

I laughed watching this, “You sure you’re not just mixing in some slightly dirty icing powder?”

“Well, I only have one unlabeled baggie full of mystery powder, so I hope I’m not.”

“Looks like that stuff clumps up, I’ll stir while we go downstairs. I’m not a huge fan of carbonation so that’ll pull some out anyways.”

“Oh yeah, before we head down, you wanted to wear a mask, I thought this would be more fun than the gimp mask I tossed on last time.”

She handed me a masquerade mask that covered the upper part of my face, they’d still be able to see from the bottom of my nose down. I loved the look and put it on. She had a similar one that she put on.

I followed her back out to the living room, then we went down a split level and turned a corner to go down another split level. The house design was odd, from the outside you’d never think that it was actually a two story house.

Going into the play room, I recognized a lot of what was in there from the video I’d watched. It had been from a higher angle, but I could see enough of the back of the room in that to see it as a sex dungeon.

Just knowing I was in the room that the video happened in had me excited and I started to get hard.

I danced in spot a little seeing all of that, “Ooh, this is where it happened!”

“And where it’s about to happen again. Seems like you’re excited.” Ted said from over by the bed. He was setting up a few cameras, one of them looked like one of those big high speed cameras, that was probably what they used to catch the video of the asshole’s balls being exploded out of his dick.

“You have no idea. I’m throbbing in my pants just being in the room.”, one slightly unfortunate thing about keeping my bigass penis after transitioning is that I need to be really careful about wearing dresses and skirts anywhere I need to act decent. So I’ve largely kept wearing pants even after the transition.

“Tara would probably be happy to help you pop out a few last loads before we go ahead.”

“Y’know, I don’t really like having my vagina volunteered out like that. But yeah, if you want to get a few last loads out, I can help you.”

“Just get the clamps on me, I can cum from hurting my balls alone.”

“Oh she ought to be in for a fun time, Tara how much did you give her?”

“About a spoon and a half?”

“A heaping spoon and about a level spoon you mean?”

Ted looked at Tara, “You weren’t leveling the spoons when dosing? No wonder asshole looked like that, you probably gave him about 4 times as much as I recommended.”

“It worked out.”

Ted looked at Tara, and then over at me, “Well, it shouldn’t hurt you, but your muscles might feel a little weird, good luck though.”

Looking down at the still full cup in my hand, “Should I really be drinking this?”

“Bah, you’re fine, just a little more than we probably planned for. She’s scaling her dosing the same way she was dosing asshole, so the worst effects he had will be scaled back the same for you.”

“Well, I guess you’re the drug wizard.” and with that I chugged the whole thing. “So I just strip down and hop on the bed?”

“Yep, we’re all set for you.”

Ted went around and hit the record button on the various cameras. They had a big projector on the wall and I could see all the video feeds popping on as he started them. It was positioned so I could see what was going on from the bed.

I wasted no time in losing my clothes. The red panties I was wearing were straining under the pressure of my dick, there was a wet spot on them where I’d already started to drool pre out of excitement.

Laying down on the bed, I was starting to feel a little odd in my arms.

Tara was hopping onto the bed with the black rubber looking bag thing, and she started playing with my balls trying to get them into the bag. She ran something along the edge and then pressed it down adhering it to my skin to hold it in place.

Then came out the toy of the hour, the little roller with a couple adjustable metal rollers on a minimal frame. It looked almost like a candy roller or a pasta roller, the rollers themselves were knurled kind of like you see on some tool handles for grip. There looked to be some kind of gearing under a cover, I’d guess it keeps the two roller going opposite of eachother to pull stuff in through the gap. There must be some kind of setup to make sure the gears stay meshed no matter the spacing.

Tara played with the various knobs a bit making sure everything was loose to move, then she lifted up the top roller and removed it from the frame. I couldn’t see between my legs, but with the camera feeds I could see exactly what was going on from a few different angles.

I watched as she lifted up my sack and put the bottom roller with the frame under my sack, then she dropped me onto that and I was pleased to feel that she’d pre-heated it to pretty much body temperature so the shock of cold metal never came.

She grabbed the top roller and popped it into the frame and started screwing it in. She used her finger as a gauge to set the initial depth.

“This far apart shouldn’t do any damage, but it’ll hurt and you can see how the drug is doing. Although it hasn’t been long so far so the drug might not have fully kicked in.”

“Let’s do this. Fuck up my balls!”

Tara smiled at my enthusiasm, “Alright.”

She pressed the sack against the bottom roller and the knurling grabbed onto the skin and started pulling it through.

Then the moment came, I felt as my balls started to get pulled in, the pressure was incredible, there was a lot of pain, but it wasn’t much different from using a hammer. I could feel another wave of pleasure hitting me as well, that must be the drug messing with my nerves.

I was holding myself back, this all felt too good. My balls were finally going to be destroyed.

She reached the end, I could feel my balls slipping upwards, and the clack of the rollers hitting the valve on the air bag around my sack. She let off the top roller and moved the rollers above my balls again. They were sore in the sweet abused way.

She set up the rollers again, she must know how she was adjusting it, it looked like she used the same spacing. She started rolling again. When my balls started being pulled in, it wasn’t much, but I could tell that it was tighter. The wave of pleasure coming after the pain was stronger this time.

I failed, I couldn’t hold back anymore and I shot a load all over my chest. Tara stopped cranking for a bit and stroked me through the orgasm. Cumming while my balls were being crushed was something I hadn’t tried before, I was very glad I got to experience it before they were gone. With the drug it was almost cyclical, the orgasm would make my balls surge, the surge would push against the rollers, that would cause more pain, and the wave of pleasure would just enhance the orgasm.

As I would down from the orgasm, Tara started running the crank again. This time she didn’t run to the end but rather just ran over the middle half or so of my balls over and over. It was a wonderful feeling as she went. And then at one point she stopped, and tightened the rollers a bit more while still on my balls.

When she was adjusting, I reached down and squeezed my balls from either side of the roller to press them into the rollers causing some exquisite pain. It had been at best two to three minutes since my last orgasm and that started a whole new one. This time Tara saw it started and she happily sucked down my load. She kept sucking and licking away at my cock head as the orgasm passed. I couldn’t help but to thrust into her mouth as she did so.

She pulled back after my cock had stopped twitching, and she started rolling my balls again. She had adjusted the spacing on the rollers quite a bit. The new level was something else. I think I might have experienced this with the hammer, but that was for fleeting moments, this was constant pressure like that. The drug was definitely pulling it weight, the waves of pleasure from it were intense.

Ted had a camera on some kind of chest mounted rig and he came in to get a close up of the rollers looking like they were almost cutting my balls in half. Tara leaned out of the way to let him film but she kept going back and forth with the rollers.

She tweaked it a little more every few passes, whenever I thought the pain was started to go down she’s tweak it and the surge of pain would come rushing back.

Rolling the rollers back off of my balls when they were this tight was a shock, I guess the damage had been done to the middle of my balls, but the ends had been largely left untouched. The feeling of my balls screaming at me as they were wedged through that tiny gap had me cumming again. Tara was still leaning back, so Ted just recorded my orgasm until I was just twitching and dribbling.

“Okay, we’re about to go for the final push. Last chance to back out.”

“No chance, I can’t wait. Fuck up my balls. Make me cum blood as you destroy my baby factory.”

“I’ll keep and eye on you. I’ll stop if you pass out.”

“Thank you, I hate to miss this.”

Ted backed up a bit as Tara adjusted the rollers down until they were pinching the top of my scrotum. Rolling them back and forth a bit I could feel the tingling from the tubes being pressed down.

Tara leaned back and Ted got up close again, and with everyone in position, Tara began. The tube being pinched was a nice appetizer, brought me back to normal ball busting punches.

But when it reached the balls, they had nowhere to go, so they started to go through.

There was fire in my balls, the pain was all encompassing, I could feel it running down my legs and I could feel it spiking up my chest. And barely a moment after the pain hit, the pleasure hit. Just the pleasure felt like an unending stream of orgasms. My own pleasure was washed away in the tsunami of sensation.

I felt every millimeter of my balls as they were dragged through the rollers to be mangled into a useless paste. The only purpose left for my balls now was to be shot against a wall and then unceremoniously disposed of.

I’m not sure when it happened, but I was cumming, or something like it. There was a bit of reddish pink flowing down my dick, and it didn’t feel like the normal pulse of an orgasm, but more like just a continuous vibration.

Millimeter by millimeter, I felt flashes of anguish and ecstasy as it went along. I couldn’t see any signs of the chunks from the asshole’s final shot, so this must just be some spare stuff being pulled along while I pump the fluid from my prostate.

Too soon, it all came to an end. There was nothing left of my balls but the paste that would be shot out in a glorious display of sexual destruction.

I noticed that Ted was recording my face now, I guess there wasn’t much to be recording down at my crotch anymore. Looking over at the video feeds on the wall, I was crying, but looked like I’d just seen heaven. I’m not quite sure why I couldn’t feel that directly myself, that must be some of the detachment that Tara talked about.

“Well, just one thing left to go I guess”, there was a bit of a slur in my voice, that must have been the bit of muscle paralysis that she said I’d experience.

Tara got up and went to the cupboard to pull out the air hose. I felt a distinct squirt from my dick seeing the object of my impending destruction being brought over.

Ted went back and picked up the remote that Tara had been holding in the video. Tara attached the hose to the air bag around my balls. It would fill with air and displace my entire scrotal sack inwards causing the remains of my balls to be shot out through the path of least resistance, that path being out the tip of my dick.

Tara sat back for a bit to let my dick calm down from the probably minutes long orgasm it just had.

Through this entire experience I never went soft, I just went from orgasming to almost orgasming.

After a bit, it seemed like my cock finally came back down from the bliss of having my balls reduced to a useless mess. Tara stroked my cock a few times and she seemed happy with it.

“Alright, never thought I’d get to see this a second time, but here we go. When I feel you start orgasming, I’ll open the valve. With how you’ve reacted so far, hopefully you’ll stay conscious through it all.”

“Looking forward to it, let’s give them a show.”

Tara started stroking my dick, it was fairly slow going with how much sensation I’d just gone through.

I tried to help out by practically attacking my nipples. With the drug still going strong, the pain and pleasure was good, but it felt like a flashlight in the sun when I thought of the divine pain my balls just gave me. It did seem to help though, so I kept going. Tara tried leaning on my scrotum, there were some twinges, but there was nothing left there of use, so there was no pleasure from it.

Eventually she started to finger the opening of my urethra, the pain of it being stretched open seemed to be the key as within seconds of her doing that I could feel an orgasm rushing to my head.

Tara must have felt the oncoming twitches as she quickly reached down to activate the valve.

I felt the first pulse of my orgasm hit, I heard a quick hiss, and then all there was was pain. I was in heaven, the pulses of pleasure passing through me as the drug did its best to handle this. I was laser focused on my cock, and the unbelievable pleasure of the rush of fluid being forced out of it.

It didn’t feel like an orgasm, it felt like peeing. But I could feel textures going up through my urethra. That must be the larger bits of my balls being shot out.

The pleasure was like Tara fingering the opening of my cock, except it ran all the way down my cock and through me.

There was nothing else. The blinding lights for the high speed camera didn’t exist. The room didn’t exist. Tara and Ted didn’t exist. Nothing but the stream of otherworldly pleasure erupting from my dick existed.

My orgasm only go stronger. The feedback loop from earlier was nothing. I could feel my muscles straining themselves trying to push harder.

I could feel my sack being turned inside out. I came more.

The pressure was running out.

Now it was just me pushing streams of clear fluid across the bed rather than pressurized streams of former testicle across the room.

Pretty soon it wasn’t even that. I was dribbling out clear fluid all over Tara’s hand and what’s left of my crotch.

I didn’t notice until now that I’d been bridging myself up, it must have started during the orgasm, but my muscles were screaming at me, and I gave in. I dropped to the bed, but the drug was still doing its thing and I was being pinged with pleasure from all of my muscles that had probably been holding me in that position for a minute or more.

This drug would be horrifyingly popular with body builders. Feel the burn and literally get sexual pleasure from it.

“Fuck me.”

Tara smiled, “You sure you want to?”

“No, I want to sleep. But I also wish I had more balls so I could do that again. I’m pretty sure I just saw heaven’s heaven.”

“Your face seems to say as much” said Ted who was already over playing with the high speed camera footage.

Those cameras have a limited amount of time they can record don’t they? I wonder how much of the orgasm they got?

This drug is weird. Just got over the best orgasm I’ll likely ever have and I’m thinking of how high speed cameras work. It’s like reverse adderall or something.

“How’s it look?”

“It looked great from my seat in the show” Tara commented.

“Should be able to get some good stuff out of this with editing. Having the whole event recorded will make this an absolute gold mine.”

“So, now what?”

“I’ve got a spare room you can use to sleep off the drugs. I’ll clean you up a bit, get something to help with any scrapes from the rollers. Other than that, we’re pretty much done with the event. Your legs are probably going to be next to useless between the drugs and the reality shattering orgasm you just had, so I won’t ask for any help with cleanup down here.”

I looked over, I had made a rooster tail of cum, blood, and bits of my balls running along the ceiling and wall.

“Oh, shit. I could help you with that tomorrow?”

“This is a sex dungeon, it was made to be easy to clean. I could just use a hose, but really I’ll probably just get some rags and a mop, it’ll be done in a few minutes. If I left it for tomorrow it would dry on and become a bitch to get clean.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Hey, I knew what I was getting into. Who do you think was aiming your cock as you pressure washed my wall and ceiling in bits of your balls?”

I laughed a bit at that description, “I guess when you put it like that, it is a little bit your fault.”

Ted came back to the conversation, “It was also to avoid spraying it all over the cameras which was a definite possibility if you were just left to let go whilly nilly.”

“Like a wild firehose. You mind if I just sleep here?”

“You could, but it’s not really a mattress made for sleep so you’ll probably wake up just as sore as you are now. Also Ted and I will be down here doing some cleanup and playing with the video, so it won’t be the best place for sleep.”

“Right. Could you show me to the guest room then?”

“Sure, in a bit. Still need to get you cleaned up.”

She went to get some kind of fluid, and she started to peel the air bag off of me. It felt strange and then I felt something pop out of me.

“Damn, it shoved your scrotum inside of you. There’s a little hole here now.” Tara was down between my legs.

I felt her push a finger inside of me, it was almost like I’d been turned into a futanari. Too bad I didn’t have an actual pussy. But I imagine I can work something out with this.

“You want to leave the scrotum pushed into you like this?”

“Yeah, it feels good.”

“Right, I’ll wipe it down inside of you then I guess.

I could feel her pushing a bit of cloth into me. As she pressed around inside of me I felt a jolt of pleasure hitting me. I think she just poked my prostate. I could definitely work with this.

I laid back as she was wiping me down. I didn’t have any balls anymore. And as a bonus, I had a pseudo pussy now. It made me feel that much more like a woman.

I watched as Ted was scrubbing through the various videos he’d recorded. I kept looking up at the freeze frame of the stream of my balls flying out of my cock. My urethra was stretched to an extreme, paused mid shot.

I thought back to Tara fingering my cock.

I think I’m going to have to give sounding a try.