I’ve never kicked anyone this hard .

So this happened to me recently. I was at a theme park with a good amount of my friends, and a couple of them brought their boyfriends. We all get along pretty well. We all chipped in to rent an Airbnb since we had three day passes to the parks.

As the night goes on, we all get pretty drunk, and the great old debate comes up: what hurts more, giving birth or getting kicked in the balls? All the boys are talking about how bad it is to get kicked in the balls except one of them. We’ll call him “Chris.”

Chris is arguing that “it doesn’t even hurt as bad as everyone makes it seem.” So I, being very experienced in the field lol, try to educate him and tell him, “You probably just haven’t been kicked hard enough.” He laughs it off, so I ask him if he would let his girlfriend kick him right now in front of everyone. He says, “Yeah, I don’t care.”

She was very hesitant and scared to do it and said, “I would rather you do it,” which was music to my ears. So I stood up and said to Chris, “Shoes or barefoot?” He awkwardly laughed and said, “I would prefer no shoes.” I responded with, “Lucky guy you get this option, but I promise you I am really going to hurt you,” as I slip out of my red Vans sneakers and start getting a little closer to him.

“Actually, never mind.” Everyone was calling him a bitch and making fun of him, but I just thought about how, when I get the chance, I’m actually going to hurt him.

Fast forward to the next day. We all head to the park, everyone’s having a good time, and Chris’s girlfriend tells him to take a picture of just the girls. As he has the camera pointed at us, he’s standing in the perfect position for my left foot to smash his balls.

I have my left leg behind my right, and as he has the camera up, I shoot my left foot so hard into his balls that he instantly curls up into a ball, crying actual tears. I hit him with the straight tip of my sneaker.

I pull my phone out and start recording because we were all laughing at him. I bent down and told him, “You should have let me do it last night with no shoes. Now I most definitely crushed something.”

I stand up and take a couple more photos of him groveling next to my feet, which I will post on my page. But yeah, I most definitely castrated him 😂