I'm in love with my denied cock

I can't get enough of my cock lately, especially since I've been keeping it denied for so long. It's this needy, desperate thing that just won't leave me alone. I'll sit there in my room, pants around my ankles, and slowly pull my foreskin back over the head. That sensitive tip is always so slick and pink, and as soon as I expose it the precum starts drooling out in these thick, sticky strands that stretch down and drip onto my thigh. I watch it get hard, swelling up fast with all those veins popping out along the shaft like they're about to burst. Then if I stop touching it for a bit it goes soft again, shrinking down small and kinda pathetic looking, but the second I start sliding the skin back and forth it throbs right back to full size. My balls are the worst part though, they've gotten so swollen and heavy, hanging there tight and aching like someone's squeezing them from the inside. The ache is constant, this deep throb that makes my stomach feel weird and keeps me leaking nonstop. I fucking love it even though it's driving me crazy.

I spend stupid amounts of time just staring at it, pulling the foreskin up and down slowly so I can feel every ridge catch on the head. The veins look insane when it's hard, thick blue lines running all over, pulsing with my heartbeat. When it softens it looks so small and innocent but those balls stay big and full, like they're packed with months of cum that has nowhere to go. I cup them sometimes and just feel how tender they are, that dull pain shooting through me every time I give them a little squeeze. More precum oozes out the whole time, making everything wet and messy, and I can't stop smearing it around the head because it feels too good. It's like my dick is addicted to being edged and denied, it twitches and leaks even when I'm not touching it, begging in its own pathetic way. I don't even want to cum anymore, I just want to keep feeling this constant horny ache from my swollen balls and this veiny, leaky cock that stays half hard all day.

Honestly it's kind of embarrassing how obsessed I am with it now. I'll be at work thinking about getting home so I can lock myself in the bathroom and watch it grow and shrink again, feeling that deep ball ache that never fully goes away. The head gets extra sensitive after a while, every little touch making me shudder while more precum just keeps pouring out like my body is trying to force a release that isn't coming. I love how it looks when it's soft, all wrinkled and small with the skin covering everything, but those balls are always there reminding me how full and denied they are. This whole thing has me completely hooked on my own cock in the best way possible.