How do you overcome your anal retentiveness using office and other public toilets?

I am a grown man with a universal problem. I have difficulty in defecating in public conveniences, especially office bathrooms. The office is where people you know and work with can hear you poop and break wind. The USA and Canada has flimsy barely partitioned stalls which makes town square squatting mandatory, and if it is your first day at work club, you have to fart. If you know what I mean.


Even with European style (full enclosure) bathrooms, smelling and spreading the stink at work or in public places in general, is near traumatic. It is for me and I am sure there are many others who share this concern. There was a time - in university - when I became quite the wandering shitter. I put that down to near astronaut fitness and a devil-may-care attitude. That was a brief phase and I reverted to being a shy pooper. Granted, the men at my places of work have had the bathroom graces of wild animals. Never could I have imagined educated adults could be that disgusting, had my senses not been assaulted with the carnage. What my horror eyes have seen, what decay my nostrils have smelled!

I found inspiration in this thread. However, the first few days of a job - or any new environment - are when you are most likely to have need of a quiet bowel refuge. At my previous place of work, I found a place in a basement which was somewhat private but too far away for everyday use. I would prefer to work at home so my intestines don't grow crusty with repeated suppression.


But in reality most of us don't work at home. How do you deal with shitting at work? Do you meditate to transport your mind elsewhere? Do you bring special wipes into the stall? Scented candles and a white-noise machine? The positioning of your limbs? Seating posture? Abdominal workouts? Please share your ways and means to overcome your psychological reticence, and channel your man-manure through your dirt chute. You've taken a lot of shit from the world, time now to give it.