Faking phone calls

Was a sketchy thing I did as a teenager. I used to get onto trains or busses and if there were some good looking women around I'd pretend to call someone on my phone, speaking just loud enough that I'd be overheard.

I'd start a conversation casually.

"Hi babe! How'd today go?"

"Oh that's awesome. I knew you'd do well"

"No, I just got on the train. I'll be a while yet"

But the conversations would inevitably devolve.

"Did you see the pics of Brendan in the emergency department after the party last night?"

"Nah. Stacey was telling us what happened today. They were heading to the pub together when some red haired girl asked Brendan for money. He shook his head and this random girl went crazy. Was scratching at his face then grabbed him by the hair and started kneeing him in the balls over and over again."

"Yeah. She broke it up eventually, but she did say she just stood there in shock for a little while while the red head just destroyed Brendan's balls"

"Heh. I don't think he could do much after the first knee. I think getting your nuts flattened like that takes the strength out of you a bit"

"Yeah. She said she called them before going to the hospital but the cops didn't seem to care at all"

"Oh, that's crazy"

"Well, I got hit with a soccer ball as a kid, but it really only grazed me. I don't really know what a full on kick or knee or something would feel like"

"Haha. I'd be pretty scared"

"Um. Do I get to wear a cup?"

"Ok. How about no kicks or knees but I'll let you try squeezing"

"Um. I don't have any shifts on Thursday or Friday. I could come around to yours Thursday night?"

"Alright. It's on. I'll see you then. I'd better go now. Love you"

Or some random story like that. I'd try my best to act causally and be focused on the call, while checking the women's faces around me for clues they were listening in.

Once I had a group of 4 similarly aged girls from another school who weren't even trying to hide the fact they were listening. I was arguing with my fake-phone-girlfriend that there was no way that it hurt girls anywhere near as much to be hit down there. How my sister had figured out my weak spot when we were growing up and how she abused it all the time in any disagreement and there was nothing I could do. The girls all giggled openly at me. When they were getting up to get off the train, one stopped and told me I'd better be kind to my sister if I want kids which was pretty hot.

I haven't done it in a long time. I know some here will think it's an incredibly creepy thing to do. But it seemed innocent back then. Not causing any harm to anyone who was listening, but inserting some mild novelty into their public transport trip that day.