Vibe Check Champion (Chapter 3)
[Link to previous chapter](https://www.reddit.com/r/BallbustingStories/comments/orsrxr/vibe_check_champion_chapter_2/)
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### Chapter 3
“Surprise!” Mom uncovered my eyes. “What do you think?”
I stared at the living room. Everything looked exactly the same. My favorite spot on the L-shaped couch was there, Mom’s super comfy foot-pillow was there, the indented carpet where Trista always lays down on her stomach, still there.
Trista skipped around the couch, then posed in front of the TV. “Can you see it?”
“Your nose grew five times bigger?” I burst into laughter as Mom smacked my shoulder.
“No, silly! It’s our stage!” Mom reached behind the couch and took out a cardboard sign as they both cheered:
“America’s Funniest Home Hits!”
“The what now?” I slowly backed away. “If it’s what I think it is, no way, no how are you making me—”
Mom shoved me hard, and I tumbled right into Trista’s legs. She rested her foot on my shoulder as Mom pointed a camera at us.
“Hi, I’m Trista!”
“And I’m Mom!” Mom turned the camera on her face and blew it a few kisses.
“And this is my brother, Bobby, but we call him BB.” Trista stomped on my back, causing me to yelp. “Say hello.”
“Please help!” I squirmed around, trying to get out from under her foot, but it just earned me a few more stomps as Mom giggled.
“And this is America’s Funniest Home—”
“Don’t you need the sign?” I smacked her leg a few times as I tried to roll over.
“Right.” Trista used my back as a step, then grabbed the cardboard sign from Mom. I used that as my chance to stand up and dust myself off. “As I was saying, this is America’s Funniest Home—”
“Noses!” I put on my best British documentary accent. “And look at the size of that one! Redbutt Sistericus, a rare baboon found in the forests of—”
Trista smacked me with the sign as I burst into laughter. “Mom! Do something!”
“What am I supposed to do?” Mom picked up her foot-pillow and shook it in my direction. “Honey, stop messing with our script, or you’re gonna get it!”
I reared my arm back as far as I could, and unleashed it like a fully loaded spring.
“Vibe check! 25 points!”
Trista nearly smashed through the ceiling as I leaped onto the couch, trying to keep the composure of a vibe check champion. Mom took a few steps back, aiming the camera up at me while I rested a foot on the edge.
“This is the show where we turn sisters into Redbutts! And moms into super—”
My legs slammed closed as I fell off the couch.
“—pitchers!” Mom pressed her foot against me and yanked the pillow, but I curled around it like my life depended on it. “Honey, you can stop pretending now.”
“Mom, you threw that a hundred miles per hour right in my—”
“—stomach! 5 points!” Mom spun the camera around and pointed it at herself. “And what he meant to say is that we’re all trained professionals.”
“So don’t try this at home!” Trista landed with both feet right on my back, knocking all the air out of me. I didn’t know what was worse, my broken back or my broken balls—balls, definitely.
“Shoot, I missed that one.” Mom turned the camera around. “I was looking at the screen. Which direction do I point this again?”
Trista stepped on my butt as I squirmed around like a roach, moaning and groaning about needing ice packs. When they finally got it corrected, Mom took a few steps back as Trista did a little hop.
“10 points!” Trista twisted her foot on the side of my head. “And that’s the first episode of America’s Funniest Home Hits!”
“Wow, we did great!” Mom took a few steps to the side. “Hold it right there, I need to take a picture for our new logo!”
“Get off!” I screamed and jerked around as crazy as I could.
“Just imagine I’m giving you a nice floor massage.” Trista pressed down harder on my head. “Mom, hurry, I’m about to fall!”
My entire cheek got crushed into the carpet as both soles pressed against the side of my face.
“Perfect!” Mom said as Trista hopped off. “Some of these poses were super funny.”
Trista high-fived mom. “I was trying to balance both feet on his shoulders, but he kept on moving like a surfboard!”
“Is your face okay, honey?” Mom squished Trista’s cheeks between her hands until she looked like a pufferfish, then bent her head sideways and took a picture. “There, now you’re even.”
I rolled over, sucking in tons of air. “I think I’m going to need all the ice in this entire house, even the cubes.”
“Mom got you real good,” Trista said as she scanned through her camera. “And on video this time too!”
“It was only his stomach.” Mom galloped over and patted my stomach. “That was fantastic acting, honey. And it was my super soft foot-pillow, there’s no way it could actually hurt—”
“—his nuggets?!” Trista smacked her thigh as she laughed up a storm and flipped her camera around—it was paused on the exact moment the pillow struck home. “This is absolutely hilarious. That’s twice in one day.”
“Get him the ice packs, quick!” Mom kneeled down, placing my head on her thighs as she rubbed my hair. “You’ve got some awful luck lately. First you fell into the table, now the pillow got you. You know I would never actually aim for your…”
I squeezed the pillow with my legs. “It’s okay, Mom, I know you would never—”
“Great!” Mom said as she took an ice pack from Trista. “We’ll just edit that part out when we post it online. Say you weren’t feeling well and you had a hurt tummy.”
Trista’s face turned white as she dropped the other ice pack.
“Trista,” Mom glared at her, “what did you do?”
“Uhh, ummm, I…” Trista took a few steps back. “I kind of already sent it to a few people.”
“You what!?” I tried attacking her like a rabid animal, but Mom held me down with both hands.
“Only a few.” Trista kicked at the carpet. “And they won’t share it with anyone.”
“My reputation is ruined!” I punched at Trista’s foot, but Mom sat on my arm. “Who the hell did you send it to?”
Mom glared at Trista. “Undo whatever you did.”
“You can’t just undo the internet!” Trista shuffled her feet again.
“Message everyone and undo it!” I swung my free hand towards Trista, and she just stepped on it as I screamed.
“Calm down! Calm down!” Mom rubbed my head and turned to Trista. “Who did you send it to? Maybe we could threaten them with the police. Maybe we could message Aunt Sally and—”
“I already sent it to her!” Trista leaned over, showing Mom the text.
“Why’s there two thumbs up?” Mom stared at the phone with a completely confused look. “And what’s all this about 50 points?”
“Huh?” Trista flipped it around, then frantically started swiping with a huge smirk growing. “They said you’re in the lead—Hit Balls, 50 points!”
“I’m winning?” Mom sat up and beamed, bouncing on my arm as all the anger flowed right out of her. “So I’m the new vibe check champion?”
“They loved you, Mom.” Trista leaned down, hovering her phone in my face. “And they gave you one thumbs up and one thumbs down.”
I smiled. “What was the thumbs up? It must’ve been my amazing British—”
“Me stepping on your head!” Trista burst into laughter as she pressed her toes on my cheek.
I screamed as Mom stood up.
“Stay right there, honey. Don’t move.” Mom placed her foot on the pillow and struck a pose. “Trista, take a picture of the new vibe check champion! Queen of the household!”
Trista snapped a few photos and showed them to Mom.
“If they loved your foot on his head, they’ll absolutely *love* mine!”