Vibe Check Champion (Chapter 8)
[Link to previous chapter](https://www.reddit.com/r/BallbustingStories/comments/plxfik/vibe_check_champion_chapter_7/)
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## Chapter 8
“Did you hit your nuggets on the table again?” Mom giggled as she stepped over me and washed her hands in the sink. “We should really do something about that…”
“No.” I pressed the ice packs deeper into my ribs, then dragged my cheek across the freezing cold tile as I turned in her direction. “Aunt Sally and Trista made me run today. I could’ve died!”
“Oh, don’t be silly.” Mom opened the fridge to grab some food. “Your aunt only wants what’s best for you. She’d never kill you.”
That’s not what she told me this morning when I cursed at her for stealing my breakfast. She kept jogging ahead of me, dangling the apple in front of me like a carrot on a stick while her and Trista both cackled. I vibe checked her so hard, her tracking watch flew off and smashed into the ground. Her exact words to me were: “You’re *so* dead.”
The ice packs uncomfortably stabbed me as I shuddered, so I pulled those stupid pointy things out from under me, then began dragging myself towards the freezer.
“Sounds like someone has a bad back.” Mom’s toes twisted back and forth against the tile as she began chopping. “Need another one of my world famous royalty massages?”
“No thanks,” I said as my head bumped into the fridge. “It’s not my back, it’s my ribs.”
“Ribs?” Mom gave a little giggle as her foot nudged my side. “Is that what you wanted to eat tomorrow?”
“Do we have any more apple pie?”
“I thought you had enough apples after you stuffed yourself on them last night!” Mom giggled so much, she had to put the knife down. “Weren’t my apple socks just so yummy? Look at the ones I bought today!”
Mom raised her sole and scrunched her toes in my direction. Her socks had a cartoon red apple with arms and legs—he was rubbing his tummy while saying: “Yum!”
“You’re going to love these even better than pie!” Mom pressed her sole against my cheek while making loud chewing noises. “Aren’t they so—”
“Mom!” Trista said. “What the heck are you doing?”
“Uh…” Mom wiggled her toes against my ear. “Bobby just wanted a snack, so I was feeding him some yummy apples!”
“It looks like you’re—”
“Giving him a royal face massage?” Mom rubbed her foot along my head as I squirmed around and yelled.
“It hurts!” I smacked Mom’s legs a few times.
“Does not,” Mom said as she pulled her foot away. “You know you loved it.”
Trista snickered. “And how could those precious feet hurt her little princey wincy?”
“Exactly!” Mom gave my shoulder a little nudge, then got back to chopping. “And he was kind of in my way.”
My entire crotch got squashed into the tile as Trista hopped onto both buttcheeks.
“Look, Mom, a fridge stool!” Trista said as she grabbed the ice packs off the floor and opened the freezer. “It’s what we always wanted. Now we can reach everything, even if it’s *really* deep in there.”
“Get the hell off of me!” I squirmed around, trying to buck her off as she got on her tippy toes, but I imagine I just looked like a turtle uselessly flailing my arms and legs.
Trista took a few steps down my back, then rested a foot on my cheek. “I think it needs a royal massage every so often though, or it gets cranky!”
“I can help with that!” Mom giggled as she stopped chopping, then peeled off her sock. “Open wide!”
I screamed as Mom got closer and closer, both of them cackling above me as the cartoon apple flew around like a bee on its way towards my screaming mouth.
“What the hell’s all that racket? You guys woke me from my…” Aunt Sally stood in the doorway, stunned, as silence fell across the entire kitchen.
Mom dropped her sock onto the floor, then gave the final few chops and scrapes against the cutting board. “Dinner’s almost ready.”
“That’s great, that’s just great…” Aunt Sally smirked as she headed towards the sink to fill up her glass.
Trista hopped off my back. “I’ll set the table!”
“I’ll throw out the scraps.” Aunt Sally grabbed the cutting board, then stepped up and over me on her way to the trash.
“And I’ll get us some drinks!” Mom walked backwards down my spine as she whipped open the fridge—it barely missed my head. “Apple cider anyone?”
“Isn’t that always way in the back?” Trista asked.
“It’s no problem.” Mom stood on her tippy toes as she leaned into the fridge. “I can reach over all the stuff now!”
“Then I’ll have some.”
“Me too!” Aunt Sally stepped on my butt as she headed towards the sink. “Although what’s Bobby going to drink?”
“He loves cider,” Mom said, wiggling her toes as she pulled the gallon out. “Don’t you, honey?”
My ear flicked against the fridge door as Mom closed it. I couldn’t answer.
“Maybe his mouth is stuffed,” Trista said.
“Nope,” Aunt Sally said as she reached down and picked up Mom’s sock. “It’s still out here.”
“Give that back.” Mom ripped the sock out of Aunt Sally’s hand, balancing on one foot while all three laughed. “These aren’t baked and ready yet! They take an entire week.”
“A whole week?” Aunt Sally poured some cider, then bumped her toes on my head as she handed Mom a glass. “Then we can use mine. I’m way past a week.”
“Gross,” Trista said as she pinched her nose. “Is that why it’s getting so stinky in here?”
Mom gave the air a few sniffs, then gagged. “I thought that was Bobby’s farts!”
“Nope.” Aunt Sally cracked up laughing as Trista began stacking and carrying the plates out of the kitchen. “It’s called the smell of hard work! We ran 7 and a half miles today.”
“They’re absolutely putrid!” Mom said as she ran towards the living room, pinching her nose as she almost spilled her glass. “I’m going to need to leave those windows open for a week!”
Aunt Sally shrugged and smiled as she looked down at me.
“Cider?”
All I could answer was with a coughing fit. I was trying to hold my breath the entire time she was in here with her toxic fumes, but I couldn’t make it one second further. As I gasped and sucked in all the poisonous air I could, Aunt Sally rolled me over and dragged me to the middle of the kitchen.
“Is it really that bad?” she asked as she leaned down and sniffed. “I think you’re faking. Here, get a *good* whiff.”
Aunt Sally stepped on my nose, grinding her sweaty, rotten foot-stench into my nostrils as I coughed my brains out.
“What are you guys still doing in there?” Trista yelled from the living room. “We’re not going back in there until we get hazmat suits.”
“Oh, nothing,” Aunt Sally said as she twisted her foot down, embedding the noxious smell in even further. “Just putting the cider away.”
“Hurry up!” Mom said. “The movie’s about to start.”
“Coming!” Aunt Sally said as she leaped on my stomach and lowered her face into mine. “You owe me a new watch.”
A wolf-like sneer crept across her face as she slowly raised her leg, then stomped her heel into my crotch. My howling blasted through the house as she twisted in place with all her weight, then hopped off, purposefully banging into the table.
“What was that?” Trista asked.
“Bobby bumped his nuggets again,” Aunt Sally said as she took a sip of cider in the doorway. “He really needs to be more careful around that thing.”
“Sally,” Mom said, “tell him he’s going to have to get the ice pack himself this time! There’s no way we’re stepping foot in there until it’s all aired out.”
“I will,” Aunt Sally said between laughs. “And you’re right, Trista, he looks even funnier than I imagined. I’m glad I was here to see it happen.”
“Did he spill anything on the floor this time?” Trista asked.
“Nope,” Aunt Sally said as she headed into the living room, “not a single drop.”
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[Link to next chapter](https://www.reddit.com/r/BallbustingStories/comments/pv62z7/vibe_check_champion_chapter_9/)