AI's Got Me by the Balls: Rewritten [Part One]

Hello there! I know it's not the most popular but, I've had quite a few people tell me how much they loved the old series and would like to see it return. So, in celebration of that, I've decided I'm going to re-release the series with an updated and fresh coat of paint. This process is taking quite a long time, as I am attempting to correct any errors that came from writing the story with AI going on two or so years ago. Without going into it too much, I'll just say this: It's going to take me a little while, but once it's done I'll be working on the next chapter as well! My current plan is to finish the Holgard storyline. After that, we shall see where things, and I as a writer, go from there.

Also, I just want to take a moment to curse Reddit for its rather restrictive character limit! 40,000 per post means this rewrite is going to be somewhere in the neighborhood of \*\*5 freaking posts\*\*, but I hope it will be worth it and you guys really enjoy it! As always, I hope you guys enjoy it and feel free to leave me comments in the section below!

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Colm is a rogue that resides in the Embla kingdom. Colm carries an aged iron dagger with him at all times, he sports dusty blue hair with lustrous blue eyes that shimmer in contrast to his matte hair. The young man travels light with mostly loose-fitted clothing fit for his roguish style. He does sport a flexible leather chest piece and sturdy, yet soft and flexible boots that reach halfway up his shins.


Neimi is Colm's diminutive Faerie companion and has been his closest friend since they were both children. Neimi is irascible and frequently reprimands and berates Colm during their adventures. She has messy, every-so-slightly wavy pink hair with matching eyes, the stark contrast of Colm in many ways. She tends to hover with her magical wings at all times, but if she were to stand, she would only be around a foot tall. Her small stature is a constant point of irritation to her, though she honestly likes how cute and adorable it makes her seem; not to mention innocent. No one suspects the tiny fairy to be a threat until they're curled up on the ground, clutching the empty sac where their stupid balls used to be. Much like a tsundere, Neimi loves Colm despite how cruel she may be toward him. Neimi also enjoys kicking boys' balls for amusement, and Colm is most often at her mercy while she does so with adorable giggles every time.


Colm strolls down the downtown street in search of a target. When Colm turns to look, he notices a store with a window display. The window is stuffed with fancy gowns, and Colm observes as various visitors browse the window. When Colm spots one, he turns to look at Neimi. "Too bad that dress is too big," Colm says to Neimi, "elsewise I might've stolen it for you."


Neimi frowns as she sneers at Colm. "I'm not a child!" She responds by sticking her tongue out. "Hmph. That dress is lovely, but it doesn't have a large enough neckline for my breasts." Her voice retorted matter-of-factly, ignoring the fact that the dress was indeed far too long for her.


Colm suppresses his laughter. "Right, Neimi... except your tiny stature means you've got little tits as well."


Neimi stomps her tiny feet in the air in front of Colm, cursing him in her native tongue. Colm can only make out a few words, but Colm knows what they mean: "bitch" and "slut".


"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" She complains, the hurt in her voice evident despite her making cute faces.


In the end, Colm said, "Fine, fine. I'll stop teasing you, Neimi. Even if your reactions are cute."


Neimi protests, "I don't mind the teasing," by waving her hands. She places her hands on her hips, contemplating some mischievous plan before looking at Colm and crossing her arms under her voluptuous breasts. Her face grinning as she intentionally pushed her massive tits up and together between her slender arm. "Is this better?" her voice rang out as caverns of cleavage spilled out of her attire.


Colm can't help but be impressed by her plump tits. She always did have exceptional breasts, their large size did not fit her small body very well at all. Although it would seem Neimi was lucky she floated with magic, otherwise, she might not be able to fly with her wings at all, carrying those things around. Even for being such a tiny faerie, she's got deceptively large milkers.


"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" Colm asks, feigning distraction.


She shakes her head and frowns, "This is why I don't like men; they're always thinking about sex."


"That's not all I think about," Colm reassures Neimi.


Neimi gives him a flirtatious grin and a roll of the eyes. "If it isn't all you think about, show it by getting me something nice."


Colm finds her response hilarious, if not laced with double standards.


In reference to the dress, Colm says, "I already told you, that dress is too big."


"It's not my size," she complains. "I'm looking for something smaller, like from that shop over there."


Colm turned around to look in the direction that Neimi was pointing.


Colm and Neimi go into the store and browse through the various articles of clothing that are there. After discovering something that seems to be of high quality, Colm goes back to his childhood friend in order to present it to her.


Colm hands Neimi a delicately woven dress, finely crafted for a human child. Colm can't help but grin teasingly at her as he shows her the garment.


It seems as though Neimi is taken aback by the dress. She yells out at Colm, "It's for a kid!"


"Well, it's the only size they have... Plus, child size is nearly ideal for a tiny fae like you," he explained. "How about you just try it on?"


She grins as she comments on how lovely it is. Neimi mutters, with a pout on her face, "And stop calling me tiny!" while still gushing over the dress, it truly was adorable.


Colm offers the following recommendation: "So then, try the damn thing on; I don't want you to complain later that it's not the right size."


She makes light of the situation by joking, "You aren't going to insist on seeing me naked, are you?"


"If you're trying to prove a point to me about your tits, I wouldn't be surprised if you took off all your clothes right here and now... Besides, aren't you able to just try it on over the clothes you already have on?"


She shrugs her shoulders and says, "I suppose."


Neimi raises her tiny hands and threads them around the shoulder straps of the child's garment, which is the perfect fit for her. It might be a bit lengthy for her, but Neimi is constantly floating and it shouldn't pose too much of a problem.


Colm makes the observation that despite the fact that the top gives the impression of having a constricting effect around the chest, Neimi's breasts are enormous in comparison to the rest of her petite faerie body, and the garment may not be able to support their ample size.


She laughs as she spins around in the dress and says, "Heh, sure. But it's okay, it's not too tight, and it does make my boobs seem all perky and wonderful."


Colm admires her as he gazes at her, and he can't help but grin to himself because Neimi seems to be happy.


Even though she is a tiny little fairy, Colm considers her to be a friend. It is inconceivable that Colm would ever desert his close friends.


Before she realizes that Colm is staring at her, she exclaims, "I really enjoy it and I cannot thank you enough!" She huffs and stamps her feet in the air again while yelling angrily, "H-Hey! What are you looking at?" Suddenly, Neimi swoops down out of the air and toward Colm's groin with a well-placed dive-kick in the left hemisphere of his ballbag with her small foot. The best part about Neimi's small size was that she could perfectly select which testicle to attack each time, her foot was roughly the same size or a little smaller than an average human male teste.


Colm uttered a piercing "Argh! Neimi... Fucking Hell!" as he collapsed to the ground.


She smiles sweetly and chirps, "You're welcome," before turning around to face Colm again and pursing her lips.


As he gets back on his feet and stands up, Colm tries to soothe the pain in his genital area by rubbing his privates. When Neimi kicks Colm's balls, he secretly enjoys the rush that he gets from it quite a bit. Despite this, it certainly didn't remove the pain from the equation, which kept Neimi happy as well.


As he stands up once more, Colm mutters, "Alright, alright, there's no need to shove it in my face."


She glides through the air and wiggles her lovely barefoot at Colm while yelling, "Hmph! Serves you right! Maybe next time, you'll keep your dirty eyes off the goods!" she teased, although she truly enjoyed knowing he liked looking at her.


"Was that a challenge or a command?"


"Both."


Colm is incapable of restraining himself from laughing at her response, which only serves to aggravate her further. "Okay, okay. Where are we heading next then, boss?" in a sarcastic tone of voice, "I heard there's a roaming gambling ring in town; I'm sure they'll leave shortly, but we could take advantage of the situation and skip town before they do."


Neimi exclaims, "So, what are we waiting for? Let's get started!" as she exits the room with Colm while wearing the stunning new dress. Colm quickly pinched the fairy under his arm and ran out of the store, effectively disguising the fact that they were stealing the dress. The shopkeep just smiled and waved as the strange young man ran off, muttering something about not understanding today's youth.


After their little stunt, Colm and Neimi take a relaxed stroll across town, pausing for a bite to eat as they get closer to the seedier section of the city known as the Slums. The sewage floods occasionally come perilously close to reaching the streets, and people are loitering around virtually every corner each of which appear to be dangerous in their own right.


Neimi sulks and mutters something that can be interpreted as an expression of displeasure at the filthy conditions around her. Colm simply chuckles and then continues, "I was born a street rat, so it's not strange that someone like me would've gotten over it rather quickly when I was younger. You were born in the magical forests, everything was so wonderful there. But, we've been traveling together a long time, I thought you would've grown accustomed to this by now."


"Hmph. I still think it's disgusting." Colm's eyes are drawn to Neimi as she flits through the air, drawing nearer to him as she does. He can't help but grin at the adorable visage of Neimi's body that is floating around.


As soon as Colm and Neimi emerge from the shadows, they are immediately confronted by two formidable opponents who are armed with knives. Neimi is the target of one of their raucous laughs, and one of them is licking his lips at the same time.


One of them growls at Colm, then looks at the fairy girl beside him while wielding a knife and asks, "What the fuck is a gorgeous lady like you doing in this place, sweetcheeks?"


Colm whispers to the fae companion that he is walking with, "Neimi, stay close to me," as they proceed along the path. Colm tells the approaching thugs "Move aside fellas, you don't want this fight." They give low, bumbling chuckles and get closer to him.


Neimi slowly moves back around Colm, fluttering behind him and clinging to Colm's shoulder with all her might.


The thug yells out as he gets a tight grip on Colm's shoulder, "Go ahead, take a fuckin' shot, you pussy!"


The tone of Colm's voice is icy, "You disrespected my friend, you ignored my warning, and now you're touching me?" a calm sigh exits Colm's lips before he casually slits his wrist of the thug with remarkable speed and accuracy. The thug hadn't even seen Colm reach for his dagger, much less slice his wrist open. "I don't like repeating myself," Colm adds, "but since you two seem fairly stupid, I'll say it one more time: get out of here."


The criminals are taken aback by Colm's speed, recoiling a bit; both at his calm demeanor and the first brigand's fresh wound. The man growled as he held his wrist against his dirty cotton garb, the blood staining it quickly. They didn't retreat, however, and figured their odds were better with two against one. As an alternative, they both charge Colm with a defiant roar at the same time.


As Colm sped past his two attackers at a breakneck speed, he watched as they both lunged toward him with knives drawn. When he dashed past them, Colm ripped his blade clean through both of their arm tendons that held their weapons in place. His adversaries stagger forward after having Colm slash into their tendons and causing their blood to splatter on the stone ground beneath them. They lose control of their arms, and the knives they were holding fall to the ground in the pool of blood that they have created. Colm's lightning-fast speed gives the impression that the young rogue possesses some sort of magical power.


"Are you certain that the two of you wish to proceed?" Colm asks.


They are staring at Colm with a mixture of fear and hatred in their eyes, and their wounds are dripping blood onto the ground. Colm is staring at the two bullies in front of him. The way in which they are shifting their gaze reveals that they are conscious of the fact that this is a hopeless situation for them.


Colm utters these words as he readies himself for his final assault: "Scram! My next attack will be my last, and this city doesn't want two dead bodies in the street tonight!"


The two thugs are in a hurry as they make their way down the alley, one of them hobbling and the other clinging to his partner for support.


Neimi is the subject of Colm's concern, as evidenced by his question, "Are you okay, Neimi?"


"Yes," was her response, "though I'm a little sad that I couldn't help you out more; with you at my side, I should be able to pull through when there's a conflict."


Colm smiles at his fairy friend Neimi and tells her, "Don't worry about it, Neimi; I'm here to protect you, and as long as you're safe, I'm pleased. No matter what, you can count on me to support you."


"Colm, thank you very much for being so thoughtful as to say that to me; your words absolutely brighten my day."


Neimi is ecstatic, and she takes pleasure in the fact that she and Colm are able to share a joyful moment as opposed to fighting amongst themselves as they so frequently do.


Colm offers to change the subject, "Let's get back to work; we've got a long night ahead of us, and we don't want to be late again."


"All right, let's get started."


Colm is taking a leisurely stroll down the street in the direction of the newest gaming establishment.


As he walks up and down the street and along the wall, Colm enjoys the peacefulness and serenity of the nighttime environment. Colm can't help but let himself become sidetracked by the allure of the city after dark.


Neimi reaches over and grabs Colm by the shoulder, ripping him away from the pleasant thoughts he was having about the city after dark. She mutters angrily, "Come on, we need to hurry or we won't be able to get a table!" She is visibly annoyed by this.


"Come on, Colm, get it together," she says to him, shaking his head as he eagerly follows her down the street in the direction of the recently opened gambling ring. In addition, Colm does not want Neimi to deliver one of her infamous kicks to the balls, which would be very embarrassing for Colm.


Colm flashes a grin in Neimi's general direction as the two of them get closer to the entrance to the gambling ring that is guarded. At the entrance to the room stand two enormous men wearing leather jackets and wielding enormous swords, which would even make Cloud feel envious.


As Colm draws nearer, he addresses the guards, saying, "Hey, guys, does anyone know if the place has opened yet?"


The two security officers are treating Colm with disdain as they look down on him. Their expressions are very condescending. One of them yells, "Depends on who you are!" while his tone of voice is so monotonous that it gives the impression that his argument is intimidating. But Colm doesn't seem to be afraid.


Colm describes himself as just an enthusiast who enjoys a good gamble and chuckles, "Oh, me? I'm just a fan of losing money."


The security guard appears to be laughing. After that, he pushes Colm to the side and opens the door, which has the words "FUCK OFF" painted in red across it. In the midst of doing so, he mutters, "Yeah, right."


As one guard opens the doors to the building, Colm addresses the other man, saying, "Lovely entrance message you got there, fellas, but thanks for letting us in."


Neimi and Colm make their way into the building, which has a short walkway before a long set of stairs leads them down into some sort of basement. "Seems like they really don't want to be disturbed," Neimi remarks candidly.


Colm's jaw drops to the ground as he walks into the room, and his mouth gapes open in surprise. The area as a whole exudes a bright light, and the lights themselves, which are uniformly white and emit a soft glow, contribute to the impression that the area is very bright.


"Well, this place looks more like a gala than an underground gambling ring," Colm says.


"Absolutely, so the fact that they didn't really want us here shouldn't come as much of a surprise; I'm sure people from a wide variety of backgrounds will be present tonight."


"Let's just hope that all of them have lined their pockets with gold and shiny trinkets because we might be able to retire after tonight," Colm laughs.


Colm makes his way down the stairs and into the rickety basement, which is in stark contrast to the luxurious surroundings, which include a long red carpet. This establishment is already bustling with people talking to one another while drinking alcoholic beverages.


Colm goes from place to place, eavesdropping on the conversations of the people he comes across.


Colm happens to overhear a conversation that piques his interest while he is wandering around trying to overhear conversations from other people. There is a conversation going on between two men, one of whom is dressed formally, and the other of whom is wearing a dark suit.


While Colm listens in on their conversation, he pays careful attention to what they are saying.


The man dressed in the suit continues his statement by saying, "I've heard that the Syndicate has taken control of Elibe. They'll probably move to Embla next."


"I've heard they're already here, in Holgard."


"Are you serious? They've finally decided to move against us?"


"According to my source, the defendants have been threatening the council, threatening to wipe them out if they don't submit to their terms." The formally dressed guest stated that "to our good fortune, the council is composed of fools and cowards who have been too cowardly to do anything about the Syndicate for years, and they are willing to go to great lengths to appease the Syndicate."


"Hmm, it seems like we need to make some plans," the man in the dark suit replied.


"Of course, but this shift in circumstances will work to our advantage; perhaps it's high time we made an effort to broaden our horizons?"


Colm withdraws from the conversation, bewildered by the information he has just been given. Colm had a hunch that it was important, but he wasn't entirely sure just how important. Besides, what would it matter to a thief like him? When Colm turned around, he looked all over but couldn't find Neimi anywhere. "Neimi?!" his voice called out, shocked to have discovered she was missing.


Colm yells out his friend's name as he searches for her and turns around to see if he can locate her before continuing his search. "Neimi, Neimi! Neimi, if you are still around, would it be possible for you to please come out?"


Colm spots a pair of spectral wings flapping away from the cover of a nearby pillar as he looks over his shoulder.


The response from Colm is, "Well, speak of the devil."


Colm sees a female faerie peeking out from behind the pillar where they are hiding. When she looks over at Colm, she is wearing a grin on her face.


She greets him with a friendly smile and an "Oh, hello, Colm" before asking, "Did you figure out what's been stirring up the place? Are there any more punk bullies that we need to eliminate?"


Colm is bewildered by the question, "Where did you go?"


"I was listening to what some men were saying, and I thought it was...interesting," she says, shifting her gaze first to the man in the dark suit from before. "Seems like some nasty business is going on in Holgard, huh?"


Colm inquires, "Oh, you overheard them talking about the Syndicate as well?" in reference to the conversation.


Her brow is furrowed as she thinks about something. "Well, among other things, yes."


"What a peculiar occurrence! Although, it's not like that much matters to us, right? We're quite far from Holgard. Anyways, enough about that. Do you want to go swindle some money out of some wealthy people?"


She gives a bored shrug, "Sure." She leans against the wall and responds to the question.


Colm performs a rapid search of the room while leaning against the wall next to her in an attempt to locate vulnerable prey.


Neimi asks, "Are you not worried about this?" while anxiously crossing her arms under her chest and aimlessly kicking at the air. "Are you not worried about Embla being attacked next?"


Colm addresses the question by asking, "How long have you known me, and when have you ever seen me get nervous or worry about world politics for that matter? What's gotten into you? This isn't our concern."


Neimi reflected on the fact that the two of them were constantly moving around and taking risks, Colm gave no indication that he was nervous. She suddenly exclaims, "We're just thieves; not mercenaries! What if a big war breaks out?"


"What's up with you tonight? You seem off; how come you're acting so strange?"


As her eyes became more focused, she moved back a few paces before continuing.


Neimi explained, with a pout on her face, "I'm not off, you just don't know who I am!"


It seems as though she is twisting her body and putting her hand up to her head at the same time. After that, she seizes hold of Colm's wrist and jerks his hand in the direction of her. She then begins spouting off at the mouth, "I'm not the old friend that you think I am. That sweet childhood kinship you've developed over the years? Nope, I don't share that with you. I'm not Neimi."


Colm rips his wrist free from the imposter's grip and then pulls it back, which causes the imposter to somersault in the air.


Colm removes himself from the woman and asks, "Who the hell are you, and where is Neimi?" after taking a few steps back.


She will reassure him by saying, "I'm the improved version of Colm."


Colm is confused and asks, "What?! What do you mean, me?"


She explains, a sinister smirk tugging at her lips, "I'm the improved version of you, the one who made it through childhood without a hitch; the one that survived without crying and getting beat up before disappearing for years. I can disguise myself as anyone and mimic their abilities, it's really quite easy. You can't do that yet?"


Colm yelled as he drew his dagger and said, "Shut up! Who the hell are you?" his complete and utter focus was on her now, she wanted his undivided attention and she would get it.


Before she bursts out laughing, she gives Colm an evil grin, "You're nothing special, but you've done well enough up until now. You might even pass as well-trained; you could make an excellent servant for the right person."


Colm is baffled by what has transpired and demands to know, "What have you done with my friend?"


"I'll give you your little firecracker faerie girlfriend back if you agree to do a job for me," the imposter Neimi bargains.


In his response, Colm asks, "What do you want from me? And Neimi is not my girlfriend!"


"Not much, just some theft and assault; should be right up your alley. I'm not going to rip this city up; I'm just going to have some fun with it," she explained.


Colm asks the question "Why me? You seem decently capable all on your own."


"You're an intriguing one; I'd like to see where this goes; I think... I might have some use for you."


Growing tired of their little back-and-forth, Colm yells out, "Just tell me the job, and give me back my friend!"


"Hmph! I dare you to accept a challenge to face me and prove that you are the best at what you do; if you win, I'll release your friend and she can return to you; if I win... well, if I win, you'll be dead."


Colm explains, "Here I was under the impression that you wanted me to steal something for Colm; now you just want to fight me."


She shrugs and smirks, "I was just screwing around. I knew you might be more interested if you thought there was something shiny and valuable in it for you. Alas, I guess you don't think of your life as shiny or valuable, huh?"


"We should take this fight somewhere where these innocent people won't be hurt," Colm says, ignoring her attempts to get under his skin.


Her happiness knows no bounds. "Oh, I do not doubt that they will be equally as excited to watch us fight as I am to fight you."


As he looks at the imposter, Colm's eyes narrow and he frowns. "You have Neimi's face, but you're nothing like her; You were far too easy to figure out, and I'm going to make you regret crossing me." Colm was referring to the fact that this imposter woman had a face similar to Neimi's.


The imposter heaves a sigh and then smiles sheepishly at the audience. She pulls her sword out of its sheath and says, "As I put an end to you, I'm going to thoroughly enjoy myself," the speaker said.


Colm asserts that his adversary will not even be able to land a single blow, much less be able to kill him in the process.


She has an upbeat and joyful laugh. She says while twirling her sword, which appears to be imbued with some kind of magic, "Oh, I can assure you that I am well-versed in the art of murder."


Taking up a menacing stance, Colm curls his body up like a snake about to pounce on its prey. This will show that he means business.


The imposter immediately follows suit, only this time, the blade of her sword emits a very faint blue glow. "Alright then, let's get started," the speaker said.


When Colm noticed the imposter was mimicking his posture, he was taken aback by the revelation. Colm invested a significant amount of time and effort into developing a wide variety of stances; however, he never showed how to use or perfectly execute any of them. Colm is unsure whether the person who has been lurking in the shadows and watching him for a long time has been doing so because there is something else going on here that Colm is unaware of, or whether the person has been doing so because they have been studying him.


For Neimi to be saved, it is imperative that Colm prevail in his battle against the imposter. Since Colm is unmatched in terms of his speed, he should avoid the imposter's initial attack. Because the imposter is Colm's only connection to Neimi, he tries to avoid killing them by ducking beneath a slash and slicing at their thigh instead. The imposter loses her footing and falls to the ground while simultaneously losing grip on her sword.


Colm put his dagger through the imposter's hand, impaling it and pinning her to the floor. The eyes of the imposter appear to widen in shock, a muffled scream seethes through her teeth; she had grit. Her expression does not change, however, as she takes a few deep breaths and keeps her composure, ignoring Colm's next words. "You're beaten."


Colm starts to ask about Neimi's whereabouts, but the imposter woman kicks him in the balls. The pain is all too familiar to him because Neimi always does this to him. Colm groans in agony but continues to move forward despite the pain. At this point, Neimi requires Colm's assistance; therefore, he cannot afford to lose out to weakness. In addition, Neimi delivers a much more powerful kick to Colm, but the matter at hand has not yet reached its conclusion. It would appear that Colm's ability to shrug off her dirty trick has caused the imposter to be taken aback.


Colm can be heard saying, "I win, give me back my friend" at one point.


Although Colm is clenching Colm's genitalia, the impostor is maintaining their silence. Colm is aware that she does not want to pass away, but she is unsure of how much longer she can continue to fight.


It is overheard that Colm is asking, "We had a deal! Where is she?"


As the woman draws her sword from the other side of her body, she remains silent and does not say anything. As the blade of the sword slowly becomes covered in blood, she can't help but chuckle to herself. Colm believes that it is an enchantment performed by some sort of magical force.


"I guess that wraps everything up..."


The sword that the imposter was holding is knocked out of her hands by Colm, and he then seizes his knife, pulling it from her hand, and presses it against the imposter's throat.


"Would you kindly hand over my close friend as soon as humanly possible?"


In spite of the fact that she is terrified, the woman makes an effort to clear her throat while the cold metal is pressed against her throat. She was petrified that if she didn't take extreme precautions, the rhythm of her own heartbeat would cause the blade to pierce her."Tch, I'll give you your friend back, but first, you have to finish the work that needs to be done for me, and then I'll let you have your friend again.


Colm asks, "Why should I?"


"Because there are going to be repercussions in the event that you do not..."


Colm's words were spoken with clenched teeth as he growled, "I want Neimi back, then I'll do your job."


"Okay, if that's what it takes to make you happy; can you let me go now?"


Colm removes the dagger from the fake Neimi's neck, sheathes it, and then stands up and steps away from the imposter. With a snap of her fingers and a small shadowy portal tears open in the air. Neimi flies into Colm with such force that she almost knocks him over, and Colm catches a glimpse of a glow out of the corner of his eye. At the same time, he hears a familiar voice calling out to him.


As she sobs into Colm's chest, the faerie is held in a tight embrace by Colm.


The warmth of Neimi's body and the aroma of her familiar scent reassure Colm, and he responds by rubbing her back and kissing the crown of her head. The imposter has difficulty standing and can be heard grunting as they try to sit down in a chair. "Ugh, get a private space for stuff like that."


Colm is staring at the imposter who is responsible for the kidnapping of Neimi. "Please provide me with a justification as to why I shouldn't kill you right now."


"Could you please hold on for a second..."


Colm turns to Neimi and asks, "Are you okay, Neimi? What did they do to you?"


"Nothing! Nothing! I'm perfectly fine!"


Colm heaves a sigh and jerks his head back and forth while he combs his hands through his hair. "What happened, and how did they take you?"


"They just appeared out of nowhere while I was doing flips and tricks in the air; it was terrifying!"


"You didn't scream for help? I could've come to your rescue."


Colm is given the news by Neimi, who shakes her head and explains that it was some form of magic. "It all happened so fast, I didn't even realize I was in trouble until it was too late. I was goofing off, then I was trapped in a dark room with nothing but a small window to see you."


Colm fixes his eyes on the imposter in front of him. "If it weren't for Neimi being alive and well, you would be dead; now tell me who you are and what the hell it is you want. You must want whatever it is pretty damn bad to go to all this trouble."


When the woman looks at Colm, her expression changes from one of happiness to one of regret and guilt. The magic of her disguise slowly fades away as well, revealing a completely different young woman. She lets out a sigh while rubbing her teary eyes. She twiddles her fingers and then responds to Colm. "Hello, my name is Yvette, and I'm from Holgard. Count Grey has asked me to complete this task for him here."


Colm inquires, "What exactly was the job?"


"I was to convince, or at least try to convince, a young rogue named Colm to join Holgard because the Holgard government is opposed to the Ebony Claw Syndicate having a presence in their city," she went on.


"So, you thought the best way to convince me to join your cause would be to kidnap my best friend?"


The tone of his voice has gone from one of mild curiosity to one of harsh accusation. Yvette recoils in fear as she leans away from Colm in her chair, trembling slightly as her tough demeanor continues to crumble. Yvette mumbles hastily as she writhes in discomfort under Colm's intense scrutiny, "I'm usually really good at disguises, but you saw right through it, and I panicked!" Yvette says.


"So let me get this straight, you came here to stalk me, learn about me, and recruit me. Then your plan was to leverage my best friend against me by locking her away and pretending to be her, but when that failed, you thought you could beat me into accepting your proposal?"


Yvette's head moves up and down in a rhythmic motion as she nods her head.


"Yvette, was it? Do you know why I'm not more famous? It's because I'm too good at what I do, too good at hiding in the shadows, never getting caught, and if it comes down to it, I'm the most elite assassin in Dumila," Colm says.


Yvette looks up to Colm as if he were a powerful masked vigilante. "I know... I shouldn't have made such a silly mistake, but... well, you are famous, to me!"


Colm moves away from her while maintaining his surveillance of her the entire time. There is a peculiar quality about this young lady. Colm's gut tells him that her intentions, while misguided, were pure. Then he paused, thinking to himself, 'I'm famous to her?'


She was so sad and convincing in her vulnerability that Colm almost let his guard down, though he knew better than to be so naive.


"Fine. I'll help you. Stay in town, and I'll find you when I'm ready to talk about the Holgard business." Colm began, his tone very authoritative, "Yvette, you're still young, and I don't want to kill you or harm you any further. This place isn't for children, so you should take your leave."


As she turns to make her exit, Yvette murmurs, "All right," while slowly nodding her head. She pauses for a moment before turning to tell Colm, "I'm not a child, you know. I came of age just before I took on this mission."


Before leaving the room, Colm waited a few minutes, giving Yvette time to get a head start on what she needed to do. Colm tells Neimi, "I'm really glad you're okay. I was really worried about you. Should we still try to steal some gold from the gambling ring before we leave or are you not feeling up to it?"


"Hah! I'm fine! And be sure to take it easy on that girl. She seemed sad that you dismissed her so easily. No harm, no foul, right? Hehe!"


Colm just chuckled and sighed, Neimi was far too kind and naive for this line of work but, she followed Colm anyways. With nothing left to say, it was time to put together a strategy of robbing the gambling ring into action.


Colm and Neimi are working together to rob a sufficient amount of gold to last them both for at least a few weeks. The two of them look at each other and smile as Colm makes off like a bandit and vanishes entirely without being seen.


There's no denying, being a thief was really cool.


After leaving the minstrel building, Colm and his friend hurriedly boarded a carriage that was heading in the direction of Holgard.


Before the carriage leaves Embla, Colm locates Yvette and, in the process, gives her a brief moment of fright by sneaking up on her from behind.


Yvette makes a cute squeaking sound, and her instincts prompt her to react by quickly raising her knee and driving it into his groin. When she finally opens her eyes, she sees that the hard cap of her knee has smacked into Colm's surprised testicles, violently rearranging Colm's precious male parts, and she blinks before recognizing that it is Colm. "Oh, Colm, I'm so sorry!"


Colm groans and flops against the side of the carriage as his weakness becomes immediately apparent. As she floats in the air and looks down at Colm, Neimi mutters, "Yvette... Oh fuck, my balls..." while laughing and pouting.


Neimi swoops down, calls out, "Hey! I want to play too!" and then proceeds to kick Colm's aching testicles with both of her tiny faerie feet.


Colm screams, "Augh! Fucking hell, Neimi!" while gritting his teeth.


The girl gives Colm a sweet smile while she is kicking his manhood so casually.


Yvette timidly calls out, "Uhh, guys?" as she attempts to figure out what is going on, even though the sight of Colm in such a state causes her to flush. When Colm holds his bruised balls, Yvette finds it endearing and funny to watch. "Oh hi, Yvette! Colm here just wanted to tell you that you can join us in the carriage. We're headed to Holgard now. Want to come?" Meanwhile, you are still groaning as Neimi hasn't stopped balancing her weight on Colm's balls the entire time. Colm grimaced and howled out in excruciating pain as he clenched his teeth.


Yvette shrugs as she says, "I-I don't want to intrude..."


"You will not intrude! You are welcome to come!"


Neimi asks, "Isn't that right, Colm?" as she stamps her heel into Colm's balls, which causes Colm to scream anguishedly, "Yes! Please, just join us on our voyage to Holgard!"


Since Colm is aware that Yvette is too modest to turn down an offer of this nature, he can consider all of his concerns resolved. Aside from that, despite what took place the night before, Yvette still seems to enjoy Colm's company, and she particularly enjoys seeing Colm's cute face all wrinkled up in pain as a result of having his balls kicked.


Colm coaxes the deviant fairy away from his balls so that he, Neimi, and Yvette can all squeeze into the enormous wagon at the same time.


Colm is able to make his way to the carriage because Neimi moves away from him and gives him space. Yvette gets into the carriage after Colm has already gotten in.