How can I engage with femininity to become more attractive

I am a straight man who has been single my whole life - I'm 25 now. I'm at a point where I don't feel like it's easy for women to be attracted to me, where I don't meet many women, and where, when I get a date, I often don't feel like I have a sexual energy with her. I feel like I bore her, and don't attract her.

Parallel to that, I have an interest in being feminine. I like to wear some feminine clothing, or femininely-styled mens clothing, in private. This is tied up in my sexuality; wearing such clothing makes me feel sexy. But on the other hand, these desires cause shame. The end result of both trends (from this paragraph and the previous) is that I feel shame over my sexuality.

Is there any way I can summon that attractive energy? I am really lost. I am especially interested in the most attractive way to incorporate my feminine side.