How can I find my attractive energy?

Hi everybody. I want to get something off of my chest, and see if anyone can advise me. My apologies if this is long; it is hard to collect my thoughts.

I'm 25 years old, straight, male and have never been in bed with anybody. Since my early teens I have had a femdom fetish, but I have never asked any woman I've dated to try it with me. As time goes on I find this fetish becoming more ingrained and I find myself increasingly worried about not being able to find a girlfriend. I try to date - I'm active on the apps and I am outgoing, and I ask out women in my social circle - but I don't tend to get second dates. I think I have a hard time sexually exciting the women I spend time with, because I worry about scaring them off with my sexual feelings, which I worry are unattractive. I gravitate to GFD because I think the classical femdom material e.g. from pornography is unhealthy. Alternatively I may have just never met a woman who was very attracted to me. I would not know for sure which was the case. I don't know if being submissive is making me feel more lonely or if being lonely is making me feel more submissive.

Also, my 'sexual conservatism' has increased. I don't think I have enough time left to date many women in my life. Instead I just want to find somebody very compatible so that the relationship can last as long as possible. I am also going to try to keep my virginity until I am married. But I have no idea where to even start, because I have such a hard time being sexy. So, how can I be sexier, and how can I meet somebody who is into a guy like me?

My ideal would be to present myself as a confident, sexy, suave but also possibly submissive man, and to receive lots of positive attention for it. I wonder if that is possible from my current position? And if not, what needs to change? I just don't really know how to be attractive, at all.

P.S. I have tried engaging with my local BDSM scene; it was too kink-forward for my taste and I found Fetlife offputting. On a physical level, I am a short and thin man with a full beard and long hair. I sometimes want to try becoming a 'femboy' but I don't really think I have the figure and skin for it.