How can I be attractive as a sub? Am I even a sub? Confused.

Hi everyone. I want to get something off of my chest, and see if anyone can advise me. I posted something similar to r/gentlefemdom a few months ago, full disclosure.

I'm 25 years old, straight, male and have never been in bed with anybody. Since my early teens I have had a femdom fetish, but I have never asked any woman I've dated to try it with me. As time goes on I find this fetish becoming more ingrained and I find myself increasingly worried about not being able to find a girlfriend. I try to date - I'm active on the apps and I am outgoing, and I ask out women in my social circle - but I don't tend to get second dates. I think I have a hard time sexually exciting the women I spend time with, because I worry about scaring them off with my sexual feelings, which I worry are unattractive. I gravitate to GFD because I think the classical femdom material e.g. from pornography is unhealthy. Alternatively I may have just never met a woman who was very attracted to me. I would not know for sure which was the case. I don't know if being submissive is making me feel more lonely or if being lonely is making me feel more submissive. In fact I'm not even sure if I'm submissive or if I just have a hard time picturing anyone but a dominant woman wanting me.

Also, my 'sexual conservatism' has increased. I don't think I have enough time left to date many women in my life. Instead I just want to find somebody very compatible so that the relationship can last as long as possible. I am also going to try to keep my virginity until I am married. But I have no idea where to even start, because I have such a hard time being sexy. So, how can I be sexier, and how can I meet somebody who is into a guy like me?

My ideal would be to present myself as a confident, sexy, suave but also possibly submissive man, and to receive lots of positive attention for it. I wonder if that is possible from my current position? And if not, what needs to change? I just don't really know how to be attractive, at all.

P.S. I have tried engaging with my local BDSM scene; it was too kink-forward for my taste and I found Fetlife offputting. On a physical level, I am a short and thin man with a full beard.