The time I accidentally attended in impromptu women's self defense class.
So this is a true story where a teacher leading a college exercise class decided to randomly add a women's self defense segment into the middle of a zumba type class that I was attending. I still can't believe it happened; sometimes you just get lucky. Its led me to fantasying about being in a gym and a hot instructor randomly asks me to fill in for a guy that was going to act as a male target for a women's self defense seminar. If you wanna skip the setup information just ignore the next segment and go right to the story.
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**Background**
Near the end of my college career, I was at the ass-end of my major classes. I had to take some athletic related credits so I planned to do some easy ones at the end while I struggled with the difficult courses I needed to take to graduate. This class was some sort of intro to exercise and wellness. It must have been a required class for nurses or something because I found out that out of 30 students, 25 of them were women and the other 4 guys were taking the class for the same reasons I was. It was super easy we just had to show up. A small part of the class took place in a classroom but most of the time we just did random sports, or went to the weight room to lift.
The professor was a 40-something super fit dirty-blond with a butterface. I got the impression that she preferred the girls in class. Not only because they were all in her department, but also because us guys were only there because we had to be there and our attitude didn't help. Once she gave us this stupid assignment to write down the nutrients and calories in a list of foods and I just didn't do it at all. I laughed when I found out another guy didn't do it either. I told her I had to study for my "real classes". Didn't matter because 80% of our grade was participation.
I always looked forward to this twice-a-week class though because the girls in it were absolute smokeshows. 75% were hot, and half of the hot ones were 10 out of 10, sorority girl bombshells that wore yoga pants and athletic bras to every class. Fit, big ol titties, sculpted asses. It was glorious.
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**The Class**
The exercise of the day was going to be a type of instructor led zumba class. The instructor brought us to a room with mirrors for walls and set up a radio and played fast paced, high energy music and led us into a bunch of repetitive moves designed to get your heartrate up. She unzipped her jacket to unveil a little sports bra of her own that showed off her abs. She's definitely led classes like this before.
Everything was going normal, until during one transition the instructor says "Ok, this next move is for you girls. Pretend standing in front of you, there's a guy you don't like. Could be your professor, your boss, your boyfriend (some giggles are heard), his legs are wide open." She took a fighting stance and held her hands out like she was grabbing an imaginary waist. "Lift your back leg forward and strike up with your knee, and kick him. *Right there*. Between his legs". When she said "*right there"* her knee connected with his imaginary junk. Everyone is kinda stunned. The girls start whispering things like "omg, is she serious" "I can't believe were doing this right now". Some giggle. But they all half heartily repeat the motion. Us guys just stand there because it seemed like the instructor wasn't even talking to us.
"Come on girls, pretend he just made you really mad, kick him!" the teacher encouraged. Suddenly all the girls stop moving and break out laughing and then really start to get into the knees. "Yeah, *RIGHT THERE! (*timing that phrase with the knee again) I know you girls know where I'm talking about" She said with a huge smile which caused more laughter.
At this point, I'm still just standing there, surrounded by hot girls in tight yoga pants/shorts mimicking kneeing a guy in the balls for apparently no reason and laughing about it. Hearing them make little comments I can barely make out over the music like specific guy names. Teacher goes "come on guys, I want you to do it too". I reluctantly half-assed the motion to join the class. I turn around to find the other guys behind me, one dude is just standing there with his hands palms up. He makes eye contact with me and mouths "wtf is this".
The teacher may have noticed him because she says "Just a reminder guys, participation is 80% of your grade. Now, other leg!". If that wasn't embarrassing enough, I got a huge boner in my gym shorts, there was no way to hide it. I tried to casually flip it up into my waistband. No idea if any girls noticed, at that point I stopped looking around and just concentrated on the teacher. This went on for some time, and the teacher must have realized how embarrassing this was for the guys, so she mentioned that she also teaches self defense classes, and that she thinks this is a great move that everybody could use. She then switched to a professional attitude and dropped the joking smiles and laughs and starting neutrally saying things like, "knee strike to the groin". That made it less awkward.
However, after we finished the move which went on for several minutes, for some reason her demeanor changes she says with a smile " Lets stop here, great job everyone, even you boys started getting into it! So now you boys know not to mess around with any of these girls after class, or you know what they'll do to you!" ALL the girls then turn to me and the other guys and burst out laughing, some looking at me in the eyes, others looking down at my crotch. I still had a boner. I quickly walked off to the side and sat down without making eye contact with anyone and pretended to stretch my legs. I could still hear some of the girls giggling and saying how fun this class was today.
Easily the most enduring and embarrassing moment of women talking and laughing about a man's balls as a weakness that i've experienced. Its too bad the instructor didn't say the words "balls" or "nuts" or say anything about it being a vulnerable or painful area but really, she didn't have to. All the girls knew exactly what she was talking about and that kind of made it better. It was the way she danced around being specific almost like it was taboo and all the laughter was confirmation.
Maybe this was the teacher getting back at us guys for disrespecting her class, or maybe we just got a taste of what women do in these type of classes when there no men present at all.